Category Archives: “Not The Onion”

Should The Next Emoji Rollout Include A ‘Pregnant Man?’ Leftists Think So.

The official “Emoji list” for 2018 rolled out last week, and it added 157 new pixillated cartoon characters to the vast range of items you can include in your text messages, including kangaroos, softballs, comic book-esque phrases, and your fair reporter’s personal favorite: people who sport ginger hair.

But, obviously, the official emoji people can’t please everyone, and some social justice warriors are particularly angry that there are no new “transgender” or “gender non-binary” emoji people — and that there’s no way to separate emoji couples to create non-hetero-normative combinations, and no “pregnant man.”

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Oh FFS! Ontario puts moratorium on suspending racialized public servants

The province has put a moratorium on suspending racialized public servants while it reviews how it processes complaints on racial discrimination.

The announcement came a day after more than 20 Black employees, mostly women, brought their concerns directly to Michael Coteau, Ontario’s minister of children and youth services, who is also in charge of the province’s anti-racism initiatives.

At a meeting Jan. 18, past and present public servants said they suffered racial harassment and faced reprisal when making complaints.

Liberals, again with the vote whoring, again with the soft bigotry of low expectations.

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Black Dominatrix Uses Her White Male Clients for ‘Emotional Reparations’

A dominatrix is using her career to transform how white men see Black women. In what she describes as an “emotional sense of reparations,” Mistress Velvet employs Black feminist theory to help push her mostly white, male clients from fetishizing Black women to having a deeper understanding.

The Domme’s relationship with her submissive subjects has had profound implications for her clients.

“I describe it as a form of reparations ― not in a systemic way like we’re getting land back, but definitely on an individual level, it provides me with an emotional sense of reparations,” she told The Huffington Post in a Tuesday, Feb. 13 article. “That’s because of the nature of the dynamic ― that [my clients] usually are white men, that they’re straight, and they’re usually pretty well-off to be able to sustain a relationship with a Domme.

“I started to think more about my relationship with them,” the Chicago PhD student continued. “A lot of them were asking questions. Some people were saying, ‘This is really impacting me in terms of how I think outside of our sessions.’ A client said he started to notice he would only hold the door open for Black women. One client started an organization for Black single mothers in the South Side of Chicago.”

Still, Mistress Velvet said she wants more of a drastic shift in her clients and “just allowing them to be submissive” doesn’t always do the job. That’s when she employs Black feminist theory from books like Audre Lorde’s “Sister Outsiders” and Patricia Hill Collins’ “Black Feminist Thought.” The chapter on controlling images is one Mistress Velvet definitely has the men read.

“Then, it’s moving from them simply fetishizing Black women, to realizing: This is a systemic issue I’m contributing to by the virtue of being a white man and being rich,” she said.

“In terms of unpacking their way of fetishizing Black women and stereotypes about Black women, I ask them, ‘Why do you want to be in my presence, why do you find me attractive?’” she added. “And sometimes they might say things that then remind me of stereotypes of Black women ― like a jezebel or something ― so I’ll have them read a piece about how what they said is related to this historic phenomenon about thinking about Black women. I say, ‘Here are its roots. Here’s why it’s problematic.’ That way, I can say, ‘You can idolize me, but we need to have it be done in a way that isn’t also problematic.’”

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Perpetual Victims

If you wanted to write a satire of leftist journalism, you could hardly do better than the sincere Sports Illustrated article on Meek Mill by DeAntae Prince. It concerns the friendship, meant to seem rather touching, between Sixers co-owner Michael Rubin and the jailed black Philly rapper. Much of the emphasis is on Rubin’s “efforts to liberate the rapper”—as if Mill were France under the Nazi occupation.

Mill is currently serving a two-to four-year prison sentence for repeated probation violations. With unintended comedy, Prince describes this as “legal complications due to constant travel and a rapper lifestyle that clashed with his probation obligations.” The evasion is palpable here. Imagine explaining to the IRS: “I didn’t pay my taxes, a legal complication, because doing so clashed with my lifestyle. I prefer spending my money on gambling and whores.”

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High school science fair project questioning African American intelligence sparks outrage

Students, parents and staff at C.K. McClatchy High School are upset over a science fair project by a student in its elite magnet program that questioned whether certain races of people lack the intelligence to handle the program’s academically challenging coursework.

…the student who prepared the report has a history of making racist remarks in class. He is described by peers as a boy of Asian descent and a participant in the accelerated Humanities and International Studies program, or HISP.

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“White math teacher” Wears “Do Rag” for Black History Month Just Like Hitler Did!

“So in disbelief and shock I asked her what she would like to do,” Debbie Miles wrote on Facebook. “She asked that we allow her to handle it.”

Miles wrote that a “white math teacher” arrived in class wearing a do-rag.

“When she asked him to take it off because she felt it was racist, he told her he would not,” she wrote, adding that the teacher said he was “supporting his coloured friends.”

Dave Chambers, principal of Archbishop Denis O’Connor, said it was a “club-initiated activity.”

“The idea was brought forward by the student Black History Committee as a way to promote Black History Month in combination with a dress-down day,” he wrote in an email to the Star.

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Afghan migrants receive 400 euros of “free money” every month in Greece

The EU is supporting Greece with hundreds of millions of euros in emergency aid. How is this money being spent?

One of our reporters did some research and talked with a group of Afghans withdrawing money from a Greek bank. According to them they all receive 400 euros monthly, to use without regulation.

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Limo Driver Plans Rocket Launch To Prove Earth Is Flat

Hughes has stated, “People are calling me not a flat-Earther. Do I believe the earth is shaped like a Frisbee, or flat, or whatever? I do, because in my months of research I’ve not been able to prove” otherwise. He has other doubts about accepted science, too; he stated, “We’ve only drilled 7 1/2 miles into the Earth. So all the crap we were taught in school about the mantle is all B.S. No one knows.”

High probability of a Darwin Award.

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China sending dildos to Canadian university student unions

Ryerson’s Student union was sent this entirely appropriate gift dildo. Their reluctance to accept it smacks of anti-Chinese bigotry.

Amazon, RCMP on the case as unsolicited deliveries of sex toys, other items cause concern on campus

…..RCMP Const. Darryl Waruk took on the case. According to his findings, the items are coming from distributors in China who sell their wares on Amazon.

He says Amazon’s law enforcement support department told him the Chinese companies are sending their goods to Canadian university student unions as a marketing tactic.

“It’s just a way of companies getting their product out there and showing a demand for their product,” Waruk said.

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California Considers $1,000 Fine for Waiters Offering Unsolicited Plastic Straws

Calderon, the Democratic majority leader in California’s lower house, has introduced a bill to stop sit-down restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they specifically request one. Under Calderon’s law, a waiter who serves a drink with an unrequested straw in it would face up to 6 months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

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