“Woke Royals”

‘Surprised?’ What do the Duke and Duchess of Sussex mean, exactly, by ‘surprised’?

Only two people with the self-awareness of a cabbage could fail to see that they left the King with very little choice but to set out the terms and conditions of their return in uncompromisingly clear language.

If you ask me, they’ve got off lightly. The King’s letter, sent to Prince Harry’s team, government departments, military officials and Lord Lieutenants in which (among other things) he states in no uncertain terms that they are simply ‘private citizens with commercial and charitable interests’ and that their HRH titles are ‘in abeyance’, is really no more than a judicious and long-overdue slap on the wrist.

On the face of it, it is a rather unremarkable letter.

The Lord Chamberlain, head of the royal household, simply sets out what we already know: that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are no longer working members of the Royal family, that they cannot use their HRH titles and are no longer represented by Buckingham Palace.

But of course, things are never that simple when it comes to Prince Harry and Meghan.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not be working royals allowed to carry out official engagements now they have returned to the UK, a letter sent on behalf of King Charles spells out.

The letter is intended to clarify the status of Prince Harry and Meghan, who moved back from California with children Archie and Lilibet last month.

They will still not be able to use titles of “His and Her Royal Highness”, and remain “private citizens”, says the letter sent on behalf of the King by the Lord Chamberlain, a top Palace official.

I have to admit, I’m with President Trump here on the issue of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle – good riddance to bad garbage.

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor “committed sex crimes in the US”, a congressman has told the US House of Representatives.

Representative Thomas Massie, a Republican, named the former Duke of York as he demanded that men who were friends of Jeffrey Epstein be held accountable.

Prince Harry and award-winning Deal or No Deal briefcase girl Meghan Markle are fleeing the United States in fear for their lives, alleging the “bonkers” First Amendment called them names and made them cry.

“The First Amendment came wearing a MAGA hat, pounded on our front door, and asked what the skin tone of our babies were going to be. It’s literally the most racist racism I have ever experienced, and I should know — I grew up in Los Angeles. My neighbors were literally Klan members!” a makeup-caked, swimsuit-clad Markle said in a viral TikTok with millions of views aimed at cornering the market on thirst trap-contemplative internet content.

Britain is still officially a Christian nation, but in practice, it is something quite different, and now King Charles is busy paving the way for what it is obviously becoming. According to GB News, Gavin Ashenden, who was once the chaplain to Queen Elizabeth II, has recently accused the king Charles of “violating the oath he swore at his Coronation to uphold the Christian Faith.”

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will seek to have a hybrid private-royal status when they make their return to the UK, it has been claimed.

A source says the Sussexes will put attempts to work out a mutually beneficial relationship with the Royal Family as ‘private royals-plus’ at the top of their agenda.

However, there are now questions over how long Harry and Meghan will even remain in Britain, with suggestions that it could be as soon as six months to a year before the ‘international couple’ decide to leave again and go to Australia or Canada, the insider added.

God no.

The Duchess of Sussex’s acting role in Guy Ritchie’s Netflix series has been thrown into doubt, The Telegraph understands.

In an about turn less than 24 hours after the news was revealed, the Duchess’s role in the third series of The Gentlemen is reportedly uncertain following a public backlash.

Oh No!

So after a six-year sojourn in southern California, Harry and Meghan – partners in crime in what I dubbed ‘the Grabdication’ – are heading back to Blighty.

I don’t think we’ve missed them very much at all. Distance has not led to enchantment, and their tawdry antics have appeared less riveting as time goes by, from Meghan’s jam business to the reality TV shows to Harry’s charity scandals. As that very frank man from Spotify said of them: ‘“The Fucking Grifters” – that’s the podcast we should have launched with them.’

Prince Harry and his fellow claimants must pay millions to the Daily Mail after a judge today ruled their doomed hacking case was pursued in a way that was ‘unreasonable to a high degree’.

The Duke of Sussex, Baroness Lawrence, Sir Elton John and the four others have seven days to pay the first £9,544,355, the High Court ordered.

Mr Justice Nicklin granted a rare ‘indemnity order’ obliging the claimants to bear the brunt of the costs of their disastrous legal action. Such orders are usually only granted in cases where a judge believes there has been bad conduct.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are planning to move back to Britain, The Telegraph can reveal.

The family intends to relocate from the US later this month to a private, non-royal residence thought to be outside London.

Prince Archie, 7, and Princess Lilibet, 5, the couple’s children, are enrolled to start at a British school in September.

LA Bum’s Rush?

Canadian taxpayers spent more to protect Prince Harry over five years during his visits to Canada than any other internationally protected person over the same period, CBC News has learned.

According to a document obtained by CBC News under Canada’s access to information law, the RCMP spent at least $539,575 to provide security between 2014/15 and 2019/20 when Prince Harry travelled to Canada for events like the Invictus Games and to date his future wife, Meghan Markle.

They did nothing to merit special treatment.