“Woke Royals”

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Narcissism, has had her podcast demoted from Spotify to some company in Minnesota.

Oh, how the blighty have fallen.

King Charles has been diagnosed with a form of cancer, says Buckingham Palace.

It is not prostate cancer, but was discovered during his recent treatment for an enlarged prostate.

The type of cancer has not been revealed, but according to a palace statement the King began “regular treatments” on Monday.

Buckingham Palace says the King “remains wholly positive about his treatment and looks forward to returning to full public duty as soon as possible”.

The late Queen thought that the Duchess of Sussex’s wedding dress was “too white” for a divorcee, a new book claims.

Ingrid Seward, the former editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, said that Elizabeth II never voiced her opinion about the duchess to anyone except her closest confidantes, including Lady Elizabeth Anson, her cousin.

The Duke of Sussex has withdrawn his libel case against the Mail on Sunday and now faces an estimated legal bill of more than £750,000.

Prince’s Harry’s lawyers informed the court at 10am on Friday that he was “discontinuing” his case.

The development came just hours before he was due to hand over relevant documents to the High Court.

Buckingham Palace has quietly made provision to prevent both the Duke of York and Duke of Sussex from acting as substitutes for the King.

Prince Andrew stepped down from royal duties in November 2019, while Prince Harry quit his royal role in 2020 to move to the United States.

Both remain counsellors of state — members of the royal family who can officially carry out duties if the sovereign is unwell or abroad. However, the King discreetly made provision to sideline them in an act instigated shortly after he ascended the throne.

This is rumoured to being a prelude to ostracism if required for Andy and Harry.

Until the birth of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s daughter, it was a name associated with only one woman in the world.

For decades “Lilibet” had been the late Queen’s cherished nickname – used only by those closest to the former monarch.

Yet the rekindled row over Harry and Meghan christening their daughter “Lilibet” in 2021 lays bare the significance of a moniker first ascribed to Princess Elizabeth when she was a toddler and couldn’t pronounce her own name.

Elizabeth was said to be infuriated by claim she had approved use of her private childhood nickname

Queen Elizabeth was angered by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s claim that she had approved of them using her private childhood nickname for their daughter, according to a new book.

A member of staff said the late monarch was “as angry as I’d ever seen her” after Harry and Meghan said they would not have used the name Lilibet, who was born in June 2021, if she had not been “supportive”.

Prince Andrew’s biggest regret over his poorly received Newsnight interview was that he held back from denouncing the photograph of him with Virginia Giuffre as a fake, The Times understands.

The Duke of York believed that the image had been digitally manipulated and that he had persuaded the Queen of his case.

However, he was instructed by Buckingham Palace not to make an explicit accusation of fakery because his suspicions could not be confirmed conclusively.

Can I have a Legend of Aviation award please? I deserve it for the time I flew Aeroflot and lived to tell the tale. Then there was the time I flew from Denmark to Amsterdam, taking off from a snowbound runway in a twin-propped plane which looked like something out of Biggles; that was pretty hairy, too. But alas, I guess there wasn’t enough room on the list of this year’s honours, to be presented in a Beverley Hills ceremony compered by John Travolta. Prince Harry made the cut, along with Buzz Aldrin, but it seems I’ll have to wait until next year.

A lawyer representing victims of Jeffrey Epstein has urged the FBI to release CCTV footage that he claims could show Prince Andrew at the paedophile’s mansion.

Spencer Kuvin, an attorney who has represented nine victims of Epstein, is urging US law enforcement to release the footage from home surveillance cameras in the wake of newly released records detailing Andrew’s connections to the convicted sex offender.

Prince Andrew will refuse any efforts to get him out of his royal mansion despite new claims over his links with paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

The Duke of York has reportedly vowed to fight any attempt made by King Charles to evict him from Royal Lodge, his ten-bedroom Windsor home since 2003, following the release of court documents detailing a slew of sexual assault allegations.

The King is said to want to remove his brother from his Berkshire residence and move him into the smaller Frogmore Cottage, which had belonged to Harry and Meghan before they left for the US.

I get the feeling Andrew will be “sent away” out of the Royal spotlight.

The Duke of York is set to be forced to fund future security operations at his Windsor home, The Telegraph can reveal, as Sir Keir Starmer said police should look into sexual abuse allegations made against him.

‌The King is preparing to withdraw the private funding he ploughs into the security operation at Royal Lodge, The Telegraph understands.

‌To avoid being forced out of the 30-room property, Prince Andrew will need to conjure up the small fortune required to maintain security and upkeep. He has no discernible income, and the house is in need of extensive repairs.

He is facing the prospect of not one, but two docudramas raking over the humiliation of his Newsnight interview

Five days in, and 2024 shows every sign of being yet another annus horribilis for Prince Andrew. After — by his, admittedly reduced, standards — a triumphant Christmas, in which he processed to church at Sandringham with the rest of the British royal family and, bizarrely, an apparently rehabilitated Fergie, the cold clear light of reality has intruded once again.

Prince Andrew has been reported to the police over the alleged sexual abuse of a 17-year-old girl in London after her claims were repeated in newly released court papers linking him to Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted paedophile.

Republic, Britain’s largest anti-monarchist campaign group, claimed that the files contained “new details of sexual assault and rape allegations” made against the Duke of York, which prompted it to ask the Metropolitan Police to re-investigate the claims.

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— Katie Hopkins (@Hellohowru12345) January 5, 2024

h/t Mauser