Doomsday clock: Humanity is still as close to catastrophe as it has ever been! Again! Like Last year! And Those Other Times!

Humanity is still as close to annhiliation as it has ever been, scientists have said.

The experts behind the famous “Doomsday Clock” have left the time at two minutes to midnight.

That time was chosen last year, reaching a record only rivalled in 1953, at the very depths of the Cold War.

The researchers stressed that the decision to keep the clock the same did not mean people should relax. In fact it reflects the “new abnormal” they said – a disturbing state of affairs where an unstable and unsettling state of affairs is becoming ordinary.

They should rename it the Trump Deranged Clock.