Starbucks Prepares to End Racism with ‘5/29’ Racial Bias Training

I’ll go into a Starbucks if I absolutely need to, like if my home WiFi conks out or I find myself being chased by wolves.* But I really hate the place. The only thing worse than the coffee is everything else. And now I’ve got even less reason to frequent the 17 Starbucks stores within a 5-mile radius of my house, because they’re being turned into tastefully lit homeless shelters whose staff is terrified to kick anybody out because it might go viral.

While I haven’t worked at Starbucks (yet), I can’t imagine it’s a very fun job. Retail sucks to begin with, and then you throw in a bunch of overcaffeinated yuppies and millennials? And now, actual hobos? And that music? Nooooo thank you.