CDC is planning an event to teach you how to survive a nuclear bomb attack

Mark your calendars for Jan. 16. That’s the day you can learn how to survive a nuclear blast.

  • ontario john

    Oprah will save us!!!

    • David_Martin

      The Toronto Star and Crescent is already touting what a great President she’d be. She’d solve the Rohingya crisis, give the Palestinians what they want…life would be grand.

      • ontario john

        And when she saves us from nuclear war, everyone will get a free car!!!

  • tom_billesley

    A nazi salute with his hand over Pyongyang, though he’s using the wrong hand.
    What can this mean?

    • Blacksmith


  • David_Martin

    I hope their advice is better than the drills we had in elementary school in the 1960’s – I still remember being told to crouch under a wooden desk and we were told to put our heads between our knees – like that was going to save us from a Soviet nuke.

    • canminuteman

      It won’t save you if you are right under it, but it will save you from flying glass and collapsing buildings. Not everyone would be at the epicenter of the blast.

    • Justin St.Denis

      They used to herd us down to the cafeteria and have us sit under the tables. I remember sitting there with my buddies at around the age of 9 or so, and we would laugh at how silly this all was. “Do adults really think a cafeteria table is going to offer us any protection against radiation?” Even at that age, we were cynical. Hardly surprising that we were smoking weed by the pound by the time we hit puberty. You grab at whatever coping mechanisms are available to you at that point in your life.

    • Exile1981

      When you see the flash, duck and cover, duck and cover.

      I still remember the jingle.

      • A Hamilton Guy

        If you see the flash: It’s too late; you are blind!

        • Exile1981

          Yes but that was still the jingle they made us learn

  • clownloach

    Why would anyone want to survive that anyway? Especially if Oprah gonna be there to save us.

    • J. C.

      Exactly. Surviving the horrors of nuclear war just to spend the rest of one’s days living in a liberal-controlled dystopia…???

      F*** THAT!!!

  • simus1

    Vapourizing Kim Dum Dong along with his entire top level of worshipful sycophants would be the best survival option for all concerned.

  • Watchman

    “CDC’s How To Survive A Nuclear Bomb Attack”
    Hint #1: Don’t be in North Korea
    Hint #2: Don’t be in Iran

  • Clausewitz

    The only way to save yourself from a nuclear attack is to get them first.

  • clownloach

    The whole story just may be a mute point anyway.