No Pork! Venezuela’s Maduro Outlines Vast Pork Conspiracy By USA & Portugal That Ruined Christmas

Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro accused Portugal of sabotaging Christmas as a shortage of pork led to anti-government protests spilling onto the streets.

According to Mr Maduro and his socialist government, the Portuguese authorities were pressured into preventing the delivery of two “giant boats” laden with government-subsidized ham, a favoured seasonal meat, due to an international conspiracy led by the United States.

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  • Drunk by Noon ✓

    Why is the US at the center of these elaborate conspiracies, yet we seem unable to remove a toad like Nicolás Maduro directly?
    If we can stop all the pork products from entering Venezuela, then why not just stop Maduro’s heart?
    I mean, if we are really that omnipotent and hyper competent, then that should be a snap!

    • Bla Bla

      I can’t wait to see that toad ripped to pieces by hungry Venezuelans who are tired of his lies.

      • Drunk by Noon ✓

        Me too, but I fear things will have to get considerably worse.
        He will be safe if he can make it to Cuba before the hammer goes down on their social experiment.

  • Blacksmith

    Its my fault, I had ham for Christmas, I know when they say boat loads they actually meant one ham and I ate it……..

  • Editor

    Why is it I start hearing the Benny Hill theme in my head every time I see this guy’s picture? It started under Hugo Chavez during the great toilet paper shortage.

    • Watchman

      I thought the toilet paper shortage was being managed at the other end by ensuring that there was too little food to require its need?

      • Bla Bla

        No food, no crapping, no toilet paper needed! Solved! Socialism wins again!

        • Watchman

          It’s the Socialist/Communist way!

          • Editor

            You guys are good at this political analysis stuff! I hadn’t thought about this pre-emptive toilet paper strategy.

  • simus1

    If la familia chavez and their mad uro front man hadn’t stolen all hard currency within reach over the years, perhaps there might have been a ham Christmas.

    • Bla Bla

      I wonder if chavez’s spawn still live in the presidential palace.

  • Exile1981

    It’s more likely they couldn’t pay for the boatloads of ham and the Portuguese didn’t trust them enough to send them on credit.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      Aren’t the pork chops broke, too?

    • Frances

      From the report, it sounds as if Venezuela still owes big time for last Christmas’ ham, so the Portuguese declined to ship any more until paid.

  • robins111

    Personally I’d be blaming global warming. Or Harper.

    • Bla Bla

      Nope – white supremacy!

    • ontario john

      Hitler Harper is everywhere. Just ask Justin.

  • Uncommunist

    Nick nicked the hams for his flunkies

    • Jaedo Drax

      the hams are still in colombia waiting for a US$40 million payment. He and his cronies won’t get a chance to disappear the hams until that payment is made.

  • Hard Little Machine

    It’s hard to make fun of this lunatic.

  • ontario john

    Isn’t socialism grand! And Maduro’s good friend Naomi Klein wants to bring that success to Canada.

    • Bla Bla

      Socialism of any color should – but isn’t – be declared a crime against humanity… Humans, terminally stupid since the dawn of time.

      • Blacksmith

        It is a wonder we have made it this far……..

  • Bla Bla

    You know, the solution to the pork crisis is to just eat the pig maduro and his elite cronies… They are almost 100% pork!

  • Blacksmith

    You know I just noticed there is plenty of pork on the jowls of that bus driver……

  • DMB