As an employee at Laurier, I feel relieved that the public is beginning to know the horror of working in what has come to feel like an indoctrination camp run by Thought Police. As far as I am aware, everyone at this university has been forced to attend a workshop, led by two young women, who introduced us to the Newspeak: gender neutral pronouns. We were told that those who reject this approach to pronoun use are transphobic. In other words, the old pronouns are an “unapproved thought.” Continued use of the old, gender-specific pronouns was not open to discussion. That, apparently, would be a subversive line of thinking. Note that some of us have years of acquaintance with the English language and advanced degrees in linguistics; note that many of us know how fickle language can be. Nevertheless, in the interest of holding on to our jobs, we suppressed this Thoughtcrime.