Firefighter Brings Watermelon to New Job, Gets Fired Immediately

A newly hired firefighter was let go because he brought a watermelon topped with a pink bow into the firehouse as a friendly gesture. The problem was, most of his fellow firefighters were black and some saw it as racist.

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  • Drunk by Noon ✓

    He should have brought a bucket of fried chicken.

    • Clink9

      And some orange drank.

      • Drunk by Noon ✓

        I’ll see your orange drank and raise you an Earl Butz quote!
        He was our Secretary of Agriculture in the U.S. in the early to mid 1970’s.

        “I’ll tell you what coloreds want. It’s three things: first, a tight **ssy; second, loose shoes; and third, a warm place to sh**. That’s all!”

        On the surface that quote might seem just a little horrible, but in some ways it addressed the fickle nature of black voter tendencies and preferences for immediate gratification over longer term solutions.

      • Alain

        That however I will pass on. Don’t really care for pop other than the odd time having a coke or what we used to call coca cola.

        • DaninVan

          You don’t like Orange Crush?! Wassa matta you???

      • DavidinNorthBurnaby

        And a banjo so one could play and the others could dance. You know, show off their natural rhythm.

    • Alain

      I confess to liking home made fried chicken, but I have no black blood in my family tree. Anyway I am not going to change my likes, because of that.

      • Drunk by Noon ✓

        I like a good fried chicken myself, it’s just hard to find them at restaurants anymore. Like it’s a lost art or something.

      • Clausewitz

        A fine Slovak meal is mashed potatoes, fried chicken, cabbage rolls, and a bowl of the Jolly Green Giants carrot/corn/beans heated up in the microwave. Great meal. Sometimes a watermelon is just a watermelon.

  • DavidinNorthBurnaby

    So, the moral of the story is never offer schvartzes anything as they’re a bunch of ingrates.

  • Tooth&Claw

    How very tolerant of them, and how very sad that now the gift of a melon is perceived as a nasty gesture.

    • Clausewitz

      I have to laugh at this. Every Friday since the start of the school year my wife has brought in a watermelon for her Kindergarten class as a treat. I had to tell her she’s a flaming racist, she told me to fuck off.

      • DaninVan

        Heh…and rightly so! 🙂
        Teachers have no sense of humour…
        On the watermelon topic, who doesn’t like watermelon???
        Bunch of ingrates.

  • Clink9

    Can’t get to those wimps.

  • Brett McS

    Maybe the other firefighters were black greenies with communist sympathies?

    • Clink9

      They sound like new age pussies.

  • Brett McS

    What they should have done is reciprocate with the ‘Breaking Bad’ DVD set.

  • Alain

    Good lord, since when did liking watermelon become a black monopoly? We enjoy it when in season and it is popular in Japan and a lot of places where there are no blacks. Will there ever be a return to sanity where those with a chip on their shoulders always looking for an excuse to claim offence are sent packing?

    • dukestreet

      Even seen a Japanese cat that loves watermelon, eating an entire slice by itself,on YouTube. People are just too snowflakey these days.

    • Lightstream

      I’m so sick of these people and their alleged racism, that I’m getting more racist myself. Wasn’t raised that way though.

      • DMB

        That doesn’t make you a racist it just makes you more opposed to cultural relativism.

  • Some people would regard that as a thoughtful act.

    But, you know, Narratives and such.

  • mobuyus

    Folks sometimes a watermelon is just a fucking watermelon.

  • terrence22

    It was a “high” level bureaucrat that fired him; his former, short term, colleagues supported him:

    http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/local-news/black-detroit-firefighters-stand-by-white-recruit-fired-over-watermelon .

    • Clausewitz

      “Fired” him? The dude was a volunteer firefighter. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.