The Satanic Temple Wants to Force Christian Bakeries to Bake Satan Cakes

In response to a Christian Colorado baker’s likely upcoming victory in the Supreme Court, an atheistic troll group is urging its supporters to order Satanic cakes from Christian bakers who conscientiously object to serving same-sex weddings.

  • DaninVan

    So, your basic Devil’s Food cake then?

  • ontario john

    How brave!! Why don’t they try that at a muslim bakery?

    • Watchman

      An unwillingness to consequently meet face-to-face with their deity Satan.
      Or maybe it’s just professional respect for a religion that is closer to their identical deity, Satanism just being a less-successful version of islam.

    • They would bake it.

    • Justin St.Denis

      The committed satanist would go to a Muslim owned bakery and order a genuine satanic “djinn” cake i.e. a cake which reads “WELCOME DJINNS”. Won’t happen, though. Too bad. It would make a really interesting news story.

  • glasnost

    I’d swear that guy in the vid is giving me the evil eye.

  • Alain

    Of course only a bakery owned by practising Christians is targeted. It is the same marxist crap, because no way would they try it with a Muslim bakery. Even though I am not Christian, this really makes my blood boil.

    • The Buddhist Butterfly

      I’m a devout Buddhist and it makes my tranbutterfly blood boil too!

      • Justin St.Denis

        “tranbutterfly blood”? How many accompanying genders does that come with?

  • Hard Little Machine

    With Thallium.

  • Bla Bla

    Good luck forcing that on them – they’ll stand their ground unlike the slimey marxist swine whose standards and morality change like the winds around them in order to secure more and more power.

  • Clink9

    That’s the problem I’ve always had with Satanists.

    They couldn’t bake a cake to save their lives.

    • Justin St.Denis


      Good one!

  • J. C.

    Only if Satanist bakers are forced to make Jesus cakes…

  • Spatchcocked

    The devil is a proude spirit…you must jeer and flout him….he cannot endure being mocked.

  • deplorabledave

    “A lot of our membership is also homosexual as well, and I feel like there’s obvious reasons for that,” Greaves told TheDCNF.“

    No freakin kidding.

    • Justin St.Denis

      “Also” and “as well” in one sentence, too! Do all satanists speak with this much redundancy, d’ya think? 😉

  • Hard Little Machine

    Other than metaphorically marrying Satan is there anything inherently objectionable about a Satanist wedding cake? I would guess the problem is in the list of ingredients like virgins blood, henbane, poison ivy, frogs and semen. Can’t get that shit, not even at World Market