North Korea claims army has had FIVE MILLION new recruits in just five days – including a million women – as Kim Jong-un prepares for war with Trump

Millions of students and more than 1.2 million women are among those who have reportedly put their names forward amid increasing hostility with America.

In other news, North Korea landed astronauts on the sun.


  • ontario john

    They later stated, that the troops will each be riding Godzilla monsters imported from their special camp on Mars.

  • The Buddhist Butterfly

    Only 20% women? And how many transgenders? And how many transbutterflies? This must be the most racist country ever!

    • In Korea, white butterflies are symbols of death.

      • The Buddhist Butterfly

        Beware my wrath Rocket Man!

        • All cower before your paper-thin wings …

          • The Buddhist Butterfly

            I’ll take beauty over brawn, thank you very much.

          • Jabberwokk

            That means I get all the brawn. works for me.

          • Flutter on, O Butterfly!

  • Oh, I’m sure they volunteered.

  • clearsky

    They offered a slice of bread with margarine and a cup of miso soup to all volunteers. The best deal you can get in North Korea.

    • Hang on there, Gordon Ramsey! Miso soup is way too rich.

      I think you meant to say imitation rice gruel.

  • Exile1981

    Why are they carrying sections of PVC pipe?

  • ntt1

    the army gets fed first , the peasants get ditch weeds, so its not surprising there is a rush to sign up.

  • The new recruits likely know there will be food shortages around the country but if you want to keep an army following your orders you’d better feed them because they have guns.

  • DaninVan

    Ashes to ashes…

    I think this is more about S. Korea or China than the US.
    I any case, as has already been pointed out, big signs pointing to the commissary should solve the problem.

  • Literally Hitler
  • Felix_Culpa

    Probably the entire population, men women and children, are joining the army. Their best hope is for a boots-on-the-ground invasion–so they can surrender to the enemy en masse and thereby get out of that hellhole!

  • xavier

    Ummm yeah. Cannon fodder because the North Korea’s are starving sounded physically and need to survive.
    What odious little orc but then again rebuilding North Korea will be easier.
    What worries me the most is what to do with the gulag ex prisoners. We’ll come across horrors not seen since Pol pot and the Holocaust

  • Brett McS

    Five million new recruits? That’s like hiring a bunch of new people to ‘help’ with a project that is late. On steroids.

  • Allan

    Can they walk on water too? North Korea can be hit anywhere from the sea. No one needs to land on soil to wipe them out.

  • Minicapt

    Wiki: “North Korea has universal conscription for males and selective conscription for females with many pre- and post-service requirements.[citation needed] Article 86 of the North Korean Constitution states: “National defence is the supreme duty and honour of citizens. Citizens shall defend the country and serve in the armed forces as required by law.”
    KPA soldiers serve a minimum of 10 years of military service in the KPA, which also runs its own factories, farms and trading arms.”


  • Barrington Minge

    They all look very impressive goose-stepping in parades, but when the shit hits the fan can they/will they fight?