‘I will decapitate you and put your head through a mincer – can you replace my washing machine?’

Mr Selfridge, whose advert Kareer had found on the Gumtree website, went out to see the appliance on December 20, and said the job would cost £170.

Kareer, who had been drinking, texted Mr Selfridge calling him a “ganster”, and warned his victim he would “find out” who he was “dealing with”.

In another message, he said: “When I find out where you live I will decapitate you and put your head through a mincer.”

Stick with it to the end. h/t

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    So, he gets a small fine and 4 and a half weeks of picking up trash but the guy that put bacon on a mosque door handle dies in an English prison?
    Violent revolution is the only way England!

    • It does come off as a little biased, doesn’t it?

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        We need to airdrop about 2 million of these over the U.K.
        It might be viewed as a breach of diplomatic protocol, but I think that we’re beyond that point anyways.

        • I want one!

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Well, your birthday is coming up! 🙂

          • It actually is. Don’t remind me.

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Twenty nine!
            So, do you want me to include the ammo as well or is .45 ACP (God’s own caliber) hard to get up there?

          • It’s complicated. We’re allowed to own guns but we have to lock them up separately from the ammunition. This is in order to facilitate home invasions. Plus I don’t have a license. Which, yes, I should get. I’m looking into it.

            That is a nifty little device.

    • John Boy

      It’s the New English Common Law: If you’re a commoner, you have the book thrown at you, but if you are the elite or brown you get off with a minor sentence.