Please, God, stop Chelsea Clinton from whatever she is doing

…maybe superstition explains it. Like tribesmen laying out a sacrifice to placate King Kong, news outlets continue to make offerings to the Clinton gods. In The New York Times alone, Chelsea has starred in multiple features over the past few months: for her tweeting (it’s become “feisty”), for her upcoming book (to be titled She Persisted), and her reading habits (she says she has an “embarrassingly large” collection of books on her Kindle). With Chelsea’s 2015 book, It’s Your World, now out in paperback, the puff pieces in other outlets—Elle, People, etc.—are too numerous to count.

One wishes to calm these publications: You can stop this now. Haven’t you heard that the great Kong is no more? Nevertheless, they’ve persisted. At great cost: increased Chelsea exposure is tied closely to political despair and, in especially intense cases, the bulk purchasing of MAGA hats. So let’s review: How did Chelsea become such a threat?

…Chelsea, people were quietly starting to observe, had a tendency to talk a lot, and at length, not least about Chelsea. But you couldn’t interrupt, not even if you’re on TV at NBC, where she was earning $600,000 a year at the time. “When you are with Chelsea, you really need to allow her to finish,” Jay Kernis, one of Clinton’s segment producers at NBC, told Vogue. “She’s not used to being interrupted that way.”

Sounds perfect for a dating profile: I speak at length, and you really need to let me finish. I’m not used to interruptions.

  • andycanuck

    They need a bigger compressor for the airbrush.

  • Etobicoke_Gladiator

    Shoot. Me. Now. *sigh*

  • simus1

    The apprentice dowager empress has signaled to her desperate worshipers that if they keep the faith, the sun will come out tomorrow.
    Given her two dna bedrock sources, there can be little disagreement over the theory being advanced that she is the antiChrist.

  • Tom Forsythe

    She is thinking of running for congress in New York. Or in the Preakness. Not sure.

    • Tom Forsythe

      Update: she dropped out of the race, because she threw a shoe.

  • Hard Little Machine

    She has to start somewhere. She’s going to have to pretend to be a Congresswoman or NYC city council member first. But if they think they can launch a senatorial race or even higher then they’re bonkers. My guess is they’re trying to rebrand and restart the Foundation RICO crime.

  • Spatchcocked

    She got the grifter bone…..dat fo shur….dat the form ……but gotta use a saw bit on dat filly !

  • Spatchcocked

    My old dad is a prevert…….mom too….and mom is a thief as well….and I guess dad is too….they both smash up people’s lives and don’t care……whatever their colour many many people have died because of them…..even their own fellow citizens….all to further their ambition or protect them from scrutiny.

    And that is why I consider government service is a possibility for me…

  • Millie_Woods

    OK, who put the sour mash in her feedbag?

  • Tooth&Claw

    She sure is unfortunate looking, even with massive photoshop skill. Then there is the fact she’s not had an honest job in her life.

  • xavier

    Ya mean Chelsea can actually read the Clifford and Theater Stilton collections. Who knew she was such a deep thinker. Golly those 60 odds books sure don’t leave much space for Charlotte’s Web or Nancy Drew

    Decisionso. Decisions

    Just be glad the Grifters didn’t have a larger family.can you imagine a junior Bubba or Carrie prom queen juniorette?

  • That was one of the most refreshing pieces I have read in awhile.

    • Written by a self-identified lefty who’s worried she’ll damage what’s left of the brand.