Ooh, It’s Like a Hate Wave!

According to Nevada Senator Harry Reid—who is retiring from politics to pursue a career as a Roy Orbison impersonator—Donald Trump’s election “has sparked a wave of hate crimes across America.” Almost as if they were in an echo chamber together with Reid, the passionately white-hating website Salon confirms Reid’s assertion that ever since Trump schlonged Hillary Clinton in the electoral count, there have been “hate acts reported across the country.”

As Democratic officials and their dutiful water-carriers in the mainstream media tell it, Trump’s victory has emboldened tens of millions of rank-smelling white bigots to suddenly flock out of their subterranean caves en masse like guano-encrusted vampire bats seeking racial vengeance.