Who did try to knife RAF man? Alan Partridge? Richard Littlejohn asks why police are increasingly trying to hide the identity of perpetrators of crime

Two knifemen, described as ‘of Middle Eastern appearance’, attempt to abduct a serviceman outside RAF Marham in Norfolk. Police immediately issue a statement saying that there is nothing to suggest the incident is ‘terrorism-related’.

So that’s all right, then.

I suppose it could always have been a last day at school dare by students at a nearby sixth-form college. Typically, these end-of-term high jinks involve stealing a policeman’s helmet or a traffic cone and sticking it on top of an equestrian statue in the market square.

Maybe this year they decided to up the ante and behead a squaddie, so they could impale his head on a pole outside the Corn Exchange and post the pictures on their Facebook account.

What larks.