Send your best wishes to our co-blogger D.B. Cooper

From D.B.

The good news is that I don’t have pneumonia.
The bad news is that I have blood clots in my lungs.
The not so bad news is that I get an unrestricted hospital menu.

Hospital menu



  • Get well DB.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      Thank you!
      Actually I just got breakfast and I can hardly eat any of it, so this won’t be as easy peasey as I was hoping.

      • Ouch.

      • Martin B

        It could be worse, there could be no bacon on the menu.

        Hang in there!

      • Miss Trixie

        Wait. Me be confused.

        D.B. Cooper = Drunk_by_Noon?

        • Justin St.Denis

          You are not alone. Some are “In” and some are not. It has been like this forever. It gets even older as one advances through life to my age. Trust me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Miss Trixie


        • Xavier

          It’s confusing, isn’t it?

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            I fucking love D-b-N.

        • mauser 98

          me three….!?!

        • Drunk_by_Noon


        • I am also confused, but it looks like D.B. Cooper was the angry twin of Drunk By Noon. I hope the real one goes through the hospital ordeal unscathed. If you were in Toronto, I would’ve brought you a quart of Scotch to make the transition easier.

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        Hey man, I’d bring you bacon and eggs but it’s a long way to Tipperary.

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        Son of a bitch, that’s like a punch in the gut.
        You’re my favourite online friend.

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        You gotta get better soon.
        What the fuck am I gonna do if I can’t look forward to you?
        Sure, I have a wonderful wife and crazy teenaged kids but this is my world.
        And you’re a big part of it.

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        I still listen to those KROC files you sent me.

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        I don’t see coleslaw on there.

      • Don’t whine to a white woman about loss of appetite!

        Feel better, D.B.

        • Drunk_by_Noon

          If you really want to effortlessly lose weight, I suggest massive opiate usage.
          Total appetite killer.
          I’m not even to my prescribed maximum (I’m refusing about half my shots), and if I could go the rest of my life without another injection, I’d be a happy man.
          I utterly do not see the recreational potential in that stuff.

          • I took it once. Legal prescription and all. It made me itch and throw up. No, I don’t see the fun etc.

            Look, just get better, okay?

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            I’m trying.
            This was all just a little unexpected turn of events. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            My daughter had her beginners licence for four hours and then she wrote off the car in the high school parking lot.
            I could come and visit you.
            We just got the cheque.

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            As fun as that would be, I’d probably be poor company for the next 90-120 days, and daughter will want another car by then.
            There are a bunch of tests I need to go over, or so they assure me.
            So many funny stories the last couple of days, I hope I can remember them all.

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            The only Queen song I like.

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            I love you D-b-N.
            That might make me sound like a fag but I don’t care.

          • Clink9

            It works well to plug you up after a few days as well.

    • Alain

      I second that.

    • ontario john

      I blame the Jews.

      • bob e

        indeed .. cause they like da’ shoes ..

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          Blame it on da’ shoes.

  • Clink9

    Get well soon. Hope you are back to jumping out of 727’s again.

  • Pinch a nurse or two for me.

  • vimy

    A positive attitude is the best medicine….. I know hard in this day and age.

  • Dana Garcia

    Order the tomato juice and then have a friend smuggle in some vodka and tabasco — very healthy and stealthy! Fix you right up.

    Best wishes for a quick and enjoyable recovery!

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      Need some Worcestershire sauce, too.

      • Xavier

        I take it the drink menu is on the back, but here’s a little something to wash the meds down.

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          I don’t care what anyone says.
          Clamato is a gift from God.

          • Xavier

            That one’s a bit dark for my preferences, though.

            OMG was that racist?

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            And if it was who should care?
            I try to explain to my hyper sensitive Filipino friends at work that before they got here white people hated each other.
            The English and French and Spanish and Poles and Germans all hated each other.
            The difficult part is getting them to admit they hate people, too.
            Sorry brown boys, before you invaded the Maples in Winnipeg it was Ukrainian land and we hated those bohunks.

      • Dana Garcia

        True, but tabasco is medicinal. Whenever a sore throat seems to be sneaking in, I toss down a teaspoon to burn all the nasty stuff out. Works like a charm.

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          My daughter said to me yesterday that we’d run out of Tabasco.
          I was so proud that she’d asked for it.

  • moraywatson

    Oh my !! Sorry that you are in sick bay DB, but glad there is a diagnosis. Hope your treatment goes well … and what…no sushi on the menu ?!

  • Miss Trixie

    Get well soon, D.B.!

  • FactsWillOut

    Stiff upper lip, and all that!
    You’ll be right as rain in no time.

  • Justin St.Denis

    Our prayers are with you, DB.

  • AlanUK

    All the best from a septuagenarian in the UK!

  • ontario john

    Get well soon, and hopefully the food isn’t halal.

  • Dave In Guelph

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  • El Martyachi
  • k1

    H8er’s of the Counter Jihad will kill you in hospital!!!!!


  • tom_billesley

    The medics will be putting you on rat poison. Get well soon.

  • Xavier

    This will help.

  • Xavier

    Last time I was in they put a yellow star on my door. Scared the hell out of me until I found out it meant “falling star” – someone who needed help standing.

    At least that was their story.

  • Brenda

    Get well soon, D.B.
    The veggie personal pizza looks interesting.

  • LauraS

    Ugh. Blood clots. No fun. Best wishes for a fast recovery! I believe alcohol works well with blood thinners!

  • marty_p

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery. I hope while in the hospital you get lots of sponge baths from sexy nurses.

  • Waffle

    Get well soon, D.B. Whatever you do, do not drink the packaged juices — they are full of chemicals that will not do your clots any good. Have family or friends bring in pure juices. Take care. Also, the rat poison (Coumadin or Warfarin) will help a lot. Say “no thanks” to the new blood thinners. The rat poison is a bother because you will have to have blood tests regularly, but it’s a lot safer than the new stuff. My thoughts are with you.

    • R…. rat poison?

      • Waffle

        That’s what it is. Look it up. Prevents clots. Keep it away from the cats, though.

      • mauser 98

        blood thinner ,, flouride

  • andycanuck

    Take care. Recover quickly. Cheers.

  • bargogx1

    That menu actually doesn’t look bad.

  • chayisun

    Good luck!! A stay in the hospital keeps you out of trouble……Hope the nursing staff aren’t wearing burkhas. By the way, they serving pork products?

  • DavidinNorthBurnaby

    Hang in there, DB. All the best from Mrs David in North Burnaby and myself.

  • chayisun
  • Yusuf_al_Kafir

    Get well soon, D.B.!!
    It sucks being any kind of sick. Cold, flu, whatever. Ughhhh!
    Blood clots in the lungs sounds like hell incarnate.

    (I had pneumonia at the end of March. ….. I did quit smoking though. I hadn’t planned on it, but if you can’t physically smoke it makes the cravings so much easier to bear. Smoke-free for nearly a month, and Holy-fucking-Moohammed does it feel good to know that the thieving Ontario Liberal government is no longer shaking me down for tobacco taxes. They frown upon smokers, but rely on the taxes from it….. “You’re habit is gross and unhealthy. That being said, can we get five bucks from you? Thanks!”……)

  • Kell

    Get Well, DB, though slacking off in a hospital gets you out of nothing, hear?

  • bob e

    go easy humpin’ the nurses ..

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Thank you everyone for your heartfelt greetings.
    Soon I will be approaching 18-hours in hospital, and let me tell you, I am exhausted.
    Lots of Morpheme, and lots of tests, but I don’t think they have a total grasp on what’s going on wth me just yet.

    Anyways, I’m on limited time here and have some more tests that are coming up, but I figured I’d let everyone know I’m doing as well as can be expected and I hope to have more info to share as time and circumstances permit.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      I love you, man.
      You’ve propped me up when the world has gone to hell.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        We all become stronger when we realize that we are not alone.

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          I still look forward to meeting you one day.

    • Keep us posted.

    • Exile1981

      get well soon

    • I love you! Now stop being a dick and just get better.

  • Get well and get plenty of rest.

  • John

    I know what you’re going through. You’ll pull though. All the best!