Why can’t you translate the f*(king Koran?

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Anyone who has interacted with Muslim apologists has encountered this again and again to the point where it

sounds like a droning fly you can’t swat off. Apparently the Koran is A)Perfect, unalterable and B)Incomprehensible to anyone who doesn’t read very archaic Arabic. (Most Muslims don’t read any Arabic at all. Let alone 7th-8th c. Arabic. If anyone tries to pull this routine on you, ask him how his 8th c. Arabic is. You’ll never hear from him again.)

The exchanges always go like this:

Q)Dear God, but the Koran is horrible! How can you defend what it says here?!?

A)You racist, do you even read Arabic!!??

So. You can translate Tolstoy. You can translate Shakespeare. You can translate Plato, Beowulf, Lady Murasaki, Aramaic, Chaucer, CiceroCervantes and Kafka. But apparently this particular text which normal people simply find tedious is magically out of bounds. For some reason the ravings of an illiterate bandit transcribed into an archaic language which never produced anything are untranslatable, because Allah dictated them.

Oh, and a sheep ate part of the Islamic holy texts.

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