British jihadist who is the son of a Hollywood director says he is on waiting list to become a suicide bomber

The British jihadist who is the son of a film director has revealed how his ‘dream is to make a martyrdom operation’.

Lucas Kinney, 26, whose father Patrick, 59, worked closely with Steven Spielberg on movies such as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, is a member of the Syrian al-Qaeda-linked group Jabhat al-Nusra.

He has become a figurehead for the jihadis and has now appeared in a new documentary that follows the lives of three would-be suicide bombers.

So Long!

  • Clink9

    Will his father film it for us?

  • Ron MacDonald

    Rest in pieces.

  • Ed

    May the list be short and the fuse shorter.

  • All we can hope for is a “workplace mishap”

  • Raymond Hietapakka

    When’s the movie coming out?

    • Clink9

      Takin’ out the trash.

    • gxp01


    • UCSPanther

      Ugh! Some assembly required…

  • ontario john

    Shit, everyone has to wait in line these days.

  • John

    And just when you thought Norma Desmond was nuts!

    I feel somewhat sorry for his parents.

  • lolwut?
  • ontario john

    Praise Allah! Breaking News! The media is reporting that the Trudeau government today is introducing a bill to get rid of the Harper law that strips terrorists of citizenship. Not only that, but it will be retroactive, meaning the terrorist who was part of the Toronto Eight will not be deported and will get his citizenship back. Also there will be shorter wait times to get citizenship, and you don’t actually have to live here. Praise mohammad.

    • Clink9

      He is out to destroy our country. Piss be upon him.

    • Etobicoke_Gladiator

      Praise be Allah! Justin Trudeau must be a Muslim for having such laws. Also, wannabe immigrants don’t ever need to learn a word of English, and continue speaking Arabic, Persian, Urdu, or whatever language they desire. Who needs English anyhow when living in Canada?

  • Kell


  • Dana Garcia

    Jihad guy has my vote for top of the list. He’s gotta be bummed that his Hollyweird connections don’t count for more.

  • Richard K

    His father is actually an Assistant Director, which despite what the name implies, is actually more like being an assistant producer. But it doesn’t sound quite as sexy.

    I’m still processing there being a waiting list for suicide bombers. There are so many, you have to take a number and get in line. What’s happening? Is it getting hard to keep replenishing the stock of 72 virgins? Or is it regular jihadi duty is so bad?

    “Hey Achmed, your turn for latrine cleaning duty is coming up”

    “Latrine duty!? In the name of Allah, I can’t handle having to clean up couscous filled crap!! Can’t I just be a suicide bomber?!”

    “Well, I’ll put you on the list Achmed, but it’s a wait, since everyone who gets latrine duty wants to transfer to that department.”

  • Hard Little Machine

    that’s how you know ISIS is a legitimate government. everything runs like the fucking DMV.

  • canminuteman

    They have waiting lists for suicide bombers?

  • gxp01

    Hurry it the fuck up! Die already!!