Wife crashes her own funeral, horrifying her husband, who had paid to have her killed


Noela Rukundo sat in a car outside her home, watching as the last few mourners filed out. They were leaving a funeral — her funeral.

Finally, she spotted the man she’d been waiting for. She stepped out of her car, and her husband put his hands on his head in horror.

“Is it my eyes?” she recalled him saying. “Is it a ghost?”

“Surprise! I’m still alive!” she replied.

Far from being elated, the man looked terrified. Five days ago, he had ordered a team of hit men to kill Rukundo, his partner of 10 years. And they did — well, they told him they did. They even got him to pay an extra few thousand dollars for carrying out the crime.

I think she should get a divorce. Incidentally, this happened in Australia. Her husband is a refugee from Congo. In a very meaningful way, this attempted murder should be seen as vibrant and enriching.

“Sometimes Devil can come into someone, to do something, but after they do it they start thinking, ‘Why I did that thing?’ later,” he said, as he begged her to forgive him.

…But her trials are not yet over. Rukundo told the ABC she’s gotten backlash from Melbourne’s Congolese community for reporting Kalala to the police. (Oh FFS – ed.)

Someone left threatening messages for her, and she returned home one day to find her back door broken. She now has eight children to raise alone, and has asked the Department of Human Services to help her find a new place to live.

  • Raymond Hietapakka

    Verdict? Temporary insanity due to a case of bad Ju-Ju.

    Treatment? If he eats about 8 lbs. worth of Christian missonnary, over the next few weeks, he should be fully cured…

    • zee

      Sure, blame the Ju-es 🙂

  • El Martyachi

    “We just want you to go back, to tell other stupid women like you what happened,” Rukundo said she was told before the gang members drove away.

    That there’s a solid premise for a TV series.

  • eMan14

    That’s gotta suck for him.

  • ismiselemeas

    Hang on, I thought that they were refugees because their homelands were deemed too dangerous for them to return to? Yet, here they are, hanging in the old country with flights, hotels and downtime all while getting very generous Aussie welfare and housing assistance?

  • canminuteman

    Never go with the lowest bidder when you are hiring a hit man. Better to get someone with a proven track record.

    • This sort of thing never happens when you hire the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, I’ll tell you that.

      • Clink9

        O-Ren Ishii, we have unfinished business.

  • H

    Didn’t even have the good grace to stay dead; that’s just plain rude.

    • tom_billesley

      She couldn’t even give him time to mourn?

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        Comedy gold!

  • Hard Little Machine

    sometimes dead is better

  • Xavier

    I hate it when women do that.

  • Brett_McS
  • ontario john

    Why can’t we get entertaining refugees like that? All we get is refugees that complain about their room service.

  • How awkward to see one’s wife at her funeral.

    And where would one seat her at the funeral lunch?

  • Petrilia

    Love the wags.