A viable career choice for natives of Ontario

Canadian Horse Pirates

h/t RJ via SDA

  • Cat-astrophe

    Awesome song.

  • Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
    I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line
    But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
    The bankers came and took my land and told me, ‘Fair is fair’
    I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
    ‘Hire you now?’ they’d always laugh, ‘We just let twenty go!’ (Ha ha!)
    The government, they promised me a measly little sum
    But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum
    Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
    I’m gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)

    And it’s a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains
    Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
    And it’s a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
    When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

    Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
    But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
    I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
    I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
    Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
    Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach’s are a-quiver
    ‘Cause they know that Captain Tractor’s hiding in the bay
    I’ll jump the bridge, and knock ’em cold, and sail off with their hay


    Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
    He’d follow on the shoreline ’cause he didn’t own a boat
    But the cutbacks were a-comin’ and the Mountie lost his job
    So now he’s sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
    A swingin’ sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company
    I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
    Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
    If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)


    Well, the pirate life’s appealing but you don’t just find it here
    I hear in north Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
    They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay
    And you’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
    Well, winter is a-comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
    My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
    I’ll be back in springtime, but now I’ve got to go
    I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico


    When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores! (2x)

  • Brett_McS

    Is this a Canada thing? I thought it would have warranted a WTF category.

    • In a nanny state you have to start out nice when initiating a popular insurrection.