Civil servants are issued safety instructions on how to use a DOOR

door knobNope. I checked, it’s not April 1st.

h/t Marvin

  • Canadian

    I think it makes sense.
    The subject of doors, hinged or sliding isn`t covered in Feminine studies courses.
    We cannot afford all the trials that can result from the lack of knowledge on door opening and closing.
    The delicate flowers bruise easily, after all.

    • I see the necessity.

    • tom_billesley

      Men no longer dare to open the door for them.

      • Blacksmith

        I do it to piss some of them off, however most appreciate it. The few that get angry make me chuckle.

        • Xavier

          Tell ’em you didn’t realize they were female – their mustache confused you.

          • Blacksmith


      • Canadian

        I still do, but not for everyone.

    • John

      You miss the whole point.

      Some of the new employees are not used to inferior western culture.

      In their experience doors are to be kicked in before you shoot all the infidels inside.

      • Canadian

        I forgot about those. My bad!

  • terrence

    I saw this the other day and read a lot of the comment – they were NOT complementary to the bureaucrats who dreamed up this drivel.

    • So the logical question is, at what point do they finally shoot the bureaucrats? At what point is an armed insurrection justifiable under the Magna Carta? They can at least start with a non-violent insurrection, such as a nationwide tax revolt, which should collapse the Government without a shot being fired (“no taxation without representation!”). And if that doesn’t work, then time to blow the buggers’ brains out.

  • Frances

    “Avoid carrying loads through the doors…..whenever possible.” Have they issued everyone little wagons to drag said loads through?

    • We would have gotten hit with a “health and safety” violation for the time we dragged my sister’s 500 lbs. piano up the stairs, and forced it through the door (after sawing off one of the legs!). Pure brute strength from the men in the family. Women definitely did not construct the Pyramids of Egypt.

  • Jaedo Drax

    All this means is that someone somewhere managed to misuse a door and hurt themselves, and the Health and Safety Committee had to respond.

    In one of our safety rules sections there is an explanation on how to walk up and down stairs, the importance of not leaving filing cabinet drawers open, and not using a chair as a ladder.

  • Cat-astrophe

    Does not surprise me one bit. These people probably need warnings in the washroom that the water can get hot.

    • tom_billesley

      This should cover all the bases.

  • Scotch_Pine

    Who would’ve ever thought that Monty Python’s twit sketches would be prophetic? And I can see the union getting involved when they start handing out brochures about the windows.

  • Norman_In_New_York

    Johnny Carson admitted to suffering from nictophobia — the fear of running backwards at full speed into a doorknob.

  • ntt1

    was there not a couple of academics a few years ago decreeing how to cut the wide end of the egg,rather than th thinner end

    • AlanUK

      Big enders vs Little enders!
      I thought Jonathan Swift sorted this out centuries ago!

  • Xavier

    “Department of Energy and Climate Change”

    They may well need these instructions.

    • tom_billesley

      Severn Trent Water put up safety notices advising employees and vistors that they should always keep one hand on the handrail when using the stairs.

  • marty_p

    This is not unusual in a unionized environment. Everything has to be spelled out and common sense has to be trained. Otherwise, employees and the union are free to use the excuse that “No one told the employee that they shouldn’t …..”
    Otherwise, employees are free to avail themselves of paid Worker’s Compensation Holidays for ridiculously stupid actions on the employee’s part….
    I know of one idiot who decided to swing from a piece of overhead equipment (an amateur Indiana Jones) and had his finger torn off when his wedding ring caught on a bolt…. the accident investigation held that no signs were posted prohibiting the activity, the bolts should have been covered and employees had to be trained on the proper manner to enter said location.

  • tom_billesley

    Safety instruction video.