The New Normal – French Publish “What to do when Islam breaks out guide”

The French have published a “Terror Attack Guide”

French Terror Attack Guide

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Have a formal agreement with the State of Texas that declares the worst Paris “suburb” a now-annexed part of Texas and subject to all Texas laws.
    Send in Texas Rangers operating solely under the new Texas law; pay them in Frech women and whisky and give them free ammo. Pair them up with English speaking anti terror police that know the lay of the land.
    When it becomes a ghost town, bulldoze the whole damn place to prevent the problem from reoccurring.
    Problem solved.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      Can’t we just stop drop and roll?

      • Exactly. Or, duck, duck, go! Common sense. But in an age when the average person will just stand there when somebody starts shooting (conditioned by Hollywood that if somebody pulls a gun on you then you can engage them in a philosophical debate), I guess we need these infantile guides to tell people how to react. Most young people would probably think “hey, maybe the ISIS guy in the cool Ninja outfit will let me take a selfie with him”.

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          I guess they all think there’s nothing to fear unless the terrorists look like Alan Rickman.

          • Why do always put me to work like that, dance? So I had to look up who Alan Rickman is.


          • dance…dancetotheradio

            Yippie ki yay.

          • It always killed me (no pun) when in the old cowboy movies the two guys would stand there with guns in each others bellies debating who had the greater moral authority to shoot the other.

            Actually your “drop and roll” advice really works — witnessed it once in a real life situation. Was at a Latin American village “fiesta” when one guy pulled a gun and started shooting at another guy. The guy just dropped to the ground and kept rolling like crazy until the gun-totter ran out of bullets (it was a six-shooter). He came out of it without a scratch. Then everybody went about their business as if nothing happened.

          • Drunk_by_Noon
  • Xavier

    I’m pretty sure that doesn’t say, “Immediately pull out your firearm and engage the Islamic enemy”.

    • Observer

      I think they didn’t want to include the automatic reaction of many French, “take the Jews first” and to throw the Jews out of any locked rooms, or if you are in an exposed area to use the Jews as human shields.

  • Dana Garcia

    Frenchie graphic forgot the most important response.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      But saving themselves would make them as bad as those “cowboy” Americans.

  • Censored_EG

    Thanks to Justin’s immigration policy, we’ll be needing that publication in Canada!

  • Norman_In_New_York

    Wall off the banlieus and let them rot inside.

  • simus1

    A better “citoyen ordinaire Francais” strategy would be to stockpile arms and ammunition and when a general muslim uprising finally starts up, “remove” all leftists within reach while the police and army are occupied elsewhere.

  • Instead of planning what to do during a terror attack, how about figuring out why they happen (tip Islam) and do something about it before they happen?

  • Blacksmith

    I don’t read French but that pretty much looks like ‘run and hide’, Well at least they are consistent……

    • tom_billesley

      Aparently the thing to do is hang out of a window and shout ‘Help me, I’m pregnant’,

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      If I had a billion dollars I would leaflet the whole of France with pictures of cheese eating surrender monkeys.
      Just to piss them off.

  • moraywatson

    Before we begin today’s meeting, I would like to draw everyone’s attention to the security features in this conference room. Note the exits at the front and back of the hall as well as the exits to your left and right. Make yourself familiar with the exit closest to you, as well as another alternative exit should the need for it arise. And if you see something, say something.

  • Scaramouche

    It’s the new “duck and cover.”

  • Ghost Tiger

    God look at the cuck messages… in the second panel, women’s lives are far more important than men’s, but it’s the dark-skinned man who has the courage to save her… in the third panel, white man is a coward running away… fourth panel, dark-skinned man has the courage and the superior wisdom to lead the stupid white people to safety. In other words, white man, thou art cowardly cuck scum.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      Like I’m gonna trust darkie at a time like that.

  • Ron MacDonald

    The names of American states below changed to nations with similar gun laws.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      Neat map. Where is it from?

      • Ron MacDonald

        I found it online, just do a Google image search.

  • ontario john

    It would be a lot simpler if they just told people when they see a muslim, just run like hell. However here in Sunny Ways Canada we are told to smile as they come to kill us.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      The only thing to optimistic about in that scenario is that France had far more exposure to muslim countries in la francophonie than the English ever did.