‘I hate the people and the language you are speaking. If I had known that you were a Jew, I would not have given you the call.”

A Muslim Cabbie? Hooda thunk it!

h/t TROP

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Can any ‘Joooos’ here recommend a free on-line crash-course in Hebrew?

    I think I want to express a bit of solidarity with ‘the Heebs’ by making a point of speaking in Hebrew if I EVER have to take a cab.

    • Heh;)

    • Exile1981

      I know a few words… just not polite ones I picked up during my visit.



      Oh wait can we swear as long as it’s not in either of the official languages

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        Those are Arab words

        • Exile1981

          yes but most swears used in Israel are Arabic ones so the muslims understand them ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            You know what would be funny?
            I know what would be funny.

            Have a fake foreign language tape “learn to blaspheme in Arabic”, that you are listening to that is nothing but insults to Islam.
            That you repeat over and over and over.

            “Now say: Mohammed was a pedophile.”
            80 time!
            I could do that for a 15-minute cab ride.

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            How about the Jerky Boys Dental Malpractice?
            Jipping blood.

          • Justin St.Denis

            Jerky Boys are classic. My younger brother and I use to listen to Jerky Boys, drink beer, smoke joints and laugh our butts off for hours back in the day. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • Norman_In_New_York

          Hebrew is the world’s purest language, so when Israelis curse, it is in Arabic or English. However, you can use mamzer (bastard).

          • Surele Surele

            did not know that; but come to think of it, so is Yiddish. Never heard my parents use obscenities (maybe they just didn’t know any, maybe they were too polite), but Yiddish curses are just hilarious. I wish I taped them, when I was younger. Me and my siblings would roll on the floor with laughter; my Mom was an artist.

          • marty_p

            you mean like “may all of your teeth fall out except one and in that one you should get a thoothache”

          • Surele Surele

            exactly. and more.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      I recommend listening to Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast.
      Not a lot of Yiddish there.
      But, comedy wins.
      Unless you are Albert Brooks, the least funny Jew in history.

  • Dana Garcia

    Getting stuck with a diverse cabbie can be creepy. When I take a cab from the Oakland airport, I get out at the burrito joint a couple blocks away from home. It just seems prudent.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      Why go straight home when you can go straight to your favorite burrito joint.

    • Blacksmith

      I believe prudent is the correct word. ‘Sane’, clear thinking, etc could also be used.

  • Surele Surele

    I almost never hire a taxi. If need be, we have some direct phone numbers to nice Russian taxi drivers; cleaner taxis, fun conversations, win/win

    • Blacksmith

      I seldom take a cab but I have done the same in a couple places where i have to do that. Mine are white male cabbies. And their cabs don’t smell like ass.

  • simus1

    Driving cab is one of the occupations that complements the lifestyle and demands of being a “devout muslim”. Just something to keep in mind.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Not if passengers choose to eat pork rinds in the back seat while being driven to their destination. The action of munching does not, in and of itself, attract undue jihadi attention. However, always leave the not-empty bag of rinds behind on the back seat, and ensure tat there are visible pork-rind crumbs on the seat and floor. If the cabbie doesn’t smell bad and drives well, tip fairly. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      FILE UNDER : Little Things One Can Do To Assert Western Values

      • Blacksmith

        Ahhh Chicarones, one of my favorites.