Controversy erupts over who gets better toilet paper at Ryerson University

TORONTO — A controversy over who gets better toilet paper at a Toronto university has critics denouncing what they call a two-tier system, while other Ontario institutions say their bathroom tissue is “equitably distributed.”

An investigation published this week by a student newspaper at Ryerson University showed the floors housing the president’s office and other administrative departments got two-ply toilet paper, while students received one-ply.

  • FactsWillOut

    I guess the only answer is to burn the whole place down.
    It’s the commie way.

    • One or two-ply. That’s the question.

      Who sets the standard for what is “better”?

      I’ll take the one-ply if the Koran is printed on it.

      • FactsWillOut

        Pictures of Mo would be better, but that works.

  • Canadian

    Can`t you spare a square?

  • This is why we need another war.

    • FactsWillOut

      Yes. A civil war.

      • Whatever works.

      • Justin St.Denis

        A purge, specifically.

        Then bring back obligatory military service.

        • Blacksmith

          I would settle for even public service if it were real service.

  • Waffle

    Well, this is certainly a ply-able tissue — I mean issue. But the bottom line is that it’s not worth the paper it’s written on.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      I tell people that toilet paper is one of the chief hallmarks of Western civilization and they don’t believe me.
      It’s the little things that make life bearable.
      I don’t care that I don’t own a house.
      Rephrasing, I don’t care that I don’t owe the bank three hundred grand to own a house.
      If I don’t have toilet paper then I will be unhappy.
      They don’t make Sears catalogues anymore.
      I’d have to wipe my ass with the Metro, now.
      As I had to sometimes when I was a kid.

      • Waffle

        Metro’s mother ship, The Star, is better.

        • JoKeR

          So you want to wipe your crap with that crap? 🙂

          • Waffle

            Maybe you’d prefer to squeeze the Charmin’?

      • mauser 98

        trees are life

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  • vimy

    there is so much shit spewed from universities better give them all four-ply

  • JoKeR

    What a shitty story!

  • ntt1

    Time to bring in “one sheet sheryl” Crow;the Santa Monica deathwish girl.. whose bold plan to end global warming was to simply use a single square of tissue each time ..pure genius. wouldn’t shake hands with her though. if it ever came up.

    • Norman_In_New_York

      No sheets, Sherlock.

  • Xavier

    Future archaeologist: if only we could recreate the writing on these scrolls, the secrets of this ancient civilization would be revealed.

  • Xavier

    Isn’t two-ply a basic human right?

  • Justin St.Denis

    “Outrage” over “toilet paper inequity”?

    This could only happen at Ryerson.

    Note to employers: Never hire muslims or Ryerson graduates. It is never, ever worth it.

    • Blacksmith

      And their hands smell of poo…….

  • John

    One-ply is always best. It’s got that gritty aspect that cleans everything so thoroughly.

  • CodexCoder

    A tempest in a toilet bowl – much ado about not much.

  • DMB

    Venezuela Reaches the Final Stage of Socialism: No Toilet Paper. Ryerson University is almost there.