Trigger Warning: Student Official Accuses Herself Of Rape And Bans Herself From Safe Spaces

A high profile student activist who has campaigned against “rape culture” has resigned from all political position and barred herself from National Union of Students (NUS) events and safe spaces because she is “unsafe.” She said she had “failed to properly establish consent before every act” during a sexual encounter at the NUS annual conference, and had “touched somebody in a sexual manner” in a night club three years ago.

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  • mobuyus

    I was touched prodded and poked, I’m goin back for more.

  • Blacksmith

    I think she should go one step further to make everyone safe from her, she should perform a post birth abortion on herself.

  • simus1

    She seems confused. Only white privilege frat boys who are from old money patriarchal families that have been racist exploiters for almost forever can be charged with “rape culture” rape.

    • Xavier

      She identifies as one of the “white privilege frat boys who are from old money patriarchal families that have been racist exploiters for almost forever”.

      Especially the “boy” bit.

    • It’s clear that “rape culture” is in fact a colonialist white cis male construction. This woman, should she choose at any given moment to so self-identify, is a victim. What we need is consciousness-raising vis-a-vis the “rape culture” culture, which is being used to oppress and marginalize persons of vibrancy.

  • Frances

    Out of idle curiosity, how can a woman engage in “non-consensual” sex? I thought that was a male prerogative, not to mention privilege.

    • Xavier

      A male wasn’t involved.

  • El Martyachi

    She needs an identity makeover to recover from this. Some confusing gender thing plus a name change involving an apostrophe or hyphen should do it.

  • Katyn

    Ha ha. I love The Onion.

  • Back in the good ole days this would have been considered bragging. What ever happened to “don’t kiss and tell”?

    • Clausewitz

      That is something that Gentlemen believe in. Seen may Gentlemen lately?

  • Norman_In_New_York

    She must be one hot number in bed.

  • ed

    even cosby gave her a miss !