Cartman was right!

A British court has convicted a 37-year-old English man of plotting to kill as many non-redheads as possible with the deadly poison cyanide after hearing that he felt “belittled” by society as a Caucasian with red hair.

…He also spoke in his diary of a desire to kill Britain’s Prince Charles and his son Prince William, to enable the red-haired Prince Harry to inherit the throne.

“He is protected but not too protected. I would sacrifice my life for that one shot. Kill Charles and William and Harry become king. Kill the tyrants,” he reportedly said in his diary.  h/t Ace

  • Man but the English are eccentric.

    • Plus, if he did kill Chucko and William, little baby George would be next in line. It doesn’t seem like this dude is thinking too clearly.

      • AlanUK

        It gets worse – Henry doesn’t even get a hair in with Princess Charlotte next after Prince George:

        1. The Prince of Wales
        2. The Duke of Cambridge
        3. Prince George of Cambridge
        4. Princess Charlotte of Cambridge
        5. Prince Henry of Wales
        6. The Duke of York
        7. Princess Beatrice of York
        8. Princess Eugenie of York
        9. The Earl of Wessex
        10. Viscount Severn
        11. The Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor
        12. The Princess Royal (Princess Anne)

        Note: The Succession to the Crown Act (2013) amended the provisions of the Bill of Rights and the Act of Settlement to end the system of male primogeniture, under which a younger son can displace an elder daughter in the line of succession. The Act applies to those born after 28 October 2011. So the Princess Royal need not apply.
        Parliament could overturn all of this if it were so minded … We are a Constitutional Monarchy.

        • I don’t understand why they changed the primogeniture thing. They want the monarchy to be, what, egalitarian?

          • Icebow

            They changed male primogeniture. Under the old dispensation, George would have preceded Charlotte even had he been younger. I suppose one might call it egalitarianism among the elite.

          • AlanUK

            Or left wing feminists …
            Many of the Left Wing Socialists, Trots etc. etc (including the new Leader of Her Majesty’s Most Loyal Opposition) would love to do away with the Monarchy, or at least weaken and bypass it.
            Thus, Jack Straw (holder of two of the Great Offices of State when Labour was in government) deliberately described Cherie, the wife of the Prime Minister Tony Blair as “The First Lady”, ignoring the reality that if anyone was to hold that title it would be Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.

          • Icebow

            Since you’re a fellow Brit, you’ll already know what a dead loss Corbyn is. I’m not sure whether he’s decided to accept membership of the Privy Council yet (he seemed typically confused when asked), but there will be great resistance to his getting access to really sensitive information. His attitude to defence (though he has seemed to row back on it) amounts to potential treason. Let’s not waste breath on Straw.

          • disqusW6sf

            I wonder how Jo Brand and other left wing entertainers feels about Corbyn as their new leader.

          • mauser 98

            primogeniture? … i look up another one

          • Minicapt

            … “very good pasta recipe” …


        • Icebow

          As you depict.

    • AlanUK

      As a whole, yes we are. But this guy seems to be nuts (although not in a legal sense).

      • Icebow

        A biscuit!

  • Xavier

    As if we needed more proof that gingers are evil and insane.

    • Icebow

      You wouldn’t want to say that to Harry’s face, I suspect!

    • Sweet_binky

      I’m a ginger.

      • I’m so sorry 🙁

        • Joseph_underscore

          It happens. 🙂

  • Yusuf_Al_Kafir

    How does a blind person find a redhead in a crowd?

    The smell of sunblock.

  • AlanUK

    There is a pattern in the Succession.
    The Sovereign’s male children are arranged in age order, followed by female children in age order. This would be Charles (1), Andrew (2), Edward (3), Anne (4).
    If none of these have children, this is the Order of Succession. (There are other members of the Royal Family that fill in the slack if needed).
    If any have children, they are slotted in immediately after their respective royal parent, again in order of age with all males before females. Thus, Charles has 2 sons, William and Henry/Harry. William is then second in line, followed by his children in order of sex then age – George (3) and Charlotte (4). Charlotte is younger than George as well as being female.
    Having “run out of” children, we then go onto the next oldest son of the Charles, Henry/Harry at (5). He has no offsring, male or female so Andrew (6) is next and his children (7 & 8) Edward (9) has two children (10 & 11) and the first/only of the Queen’s daughters is reached at (12), followed by her children.

    There. That was easy, Wasn’t it?

    • Blacksmith

      Uh, yeah sure……I am okay as long as it isn’t Charles I am a pisslamist that assumes the throne.

  • Ed

    Remember Conan Doyle’s “The Red Headed League?”

    This sort of thing with red heads goes way back.

  • tom_billesley

    Safety equipment

  • Sweet_binky

    Being a ginger myself I can confirm we are a bit mad. For instance I always tell a guy who wants to physically fight with me that I don’t fight for fun and I don’t fight to win or lose. I fight until I kill my opponent or he kills me and I don’t really care which one it is, and I’m quite sincere about that. One of us is going to be buried and the other is going to prison for manslaughter. So far I haven’t had to physically fight anyone. – See? Stark raving mad!!

  • Edubeat


  • warrenzoell

    Done at the bequest of the late Ezekiah Hopkins.