Mother raises insufferable prick, is confused

I’m posting this mainly for the title, but, come on, how depressingly funny is this?

The first hint that my indoctrination was working came when Cory was 12. We were in Costa Rica, about to hike through the rainforest, (i.e. jungle – ed) and he refused to apply bug repellent (You’re not the boss of him! He’s 12! 12!- ed). Despite (not “despite”. “Because of” – ed) my dozen monologues about mosquitoes carrying deadly diseases, he declined the oily liquid. As payback for my antipathy toward all things chemical, my boy spiked a 103-degree temperature and briefly appeared on the brink of death from dengue fever (these things happen. To idiots and their offspring. – ed). 

…I can do nothing right in my teenage son’s eyes. He grills me about the distance traveled of each piece of fruit and every vegetable I purchase. He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve. He questions my every move—from how I choose a car (why not electric?) and a couch (why synthetic fill?) to how I tend the garden (why waste water on flowers?)—an unremitting interrogation of my impact on our desecrated environment. While other parents hide alcohol and pharmaceuticals from their teens, I hide plastic containers and paper towels. 

This woman is, of course, a “journalist”, living in San Francisco. People usually get the children they deserve. The original story is titled “Bidding My College-Bound Son Good Riddance”.

  • v65magnafan

    She’ll get him back when he’s fired from his first job.

    • Exile1981

      Fired from? Five minutes into an interview i suspect he’ll end up on the black list of never hires.

  • AmicusC

    I like that she lacks foresight. euthanasia is going to be this kids first resort. he’ll pull the plug as quick as possible since she will be a burden on everyone and the energy to keep her alive is not worth it.

    • Tsk, euthanasia is so in vogue- although birth control might have been a better choice for her…

  • tom_billesley

    Did he not ask why she conceived another consumer of the planet’s resources.

  • Chris

    I was firmly pro life until I read this article.

    • Maggat

      Ya, were’s Planed Parenthood when you need them?

  • Clink9

    I’m sure he’ll settle down with a nice boy in college.

  • You reap what you sow.

    • Blacksmith

      I think more than one of us here had that thought. She probably started the indoctrination, and of course she lives in frisco so there is no getting away from it there.

  • This is how I imagine hell:

    began to sow the seeds when I decided to buy organic food. I figured it
    was healthier, and I wanted to do my tiny part to stop contaminating
    our soil and groundwater with toxic chemicals. I explained this to Cory
    as he sat in his high chair while I fed him Earth’s Best organic pears
    from a 2.5-ounce jar. We were listening to Raffi sing “Evergreen,
    Everblue” as he implored us to “help this planet Earth.” “At this point
    in time,” he sang, “it’s up to me, it’s up to you.””

    I am sure she had Al Gore and Naomi Klein’s screeds in her library.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Urine isn’t fertilizer. It’s the opposite of fertilizer.

    • Maybe he misunderstood- I think he must have meant meant turdilizer.

  • “she gave us each a single beige cloth napkin and said it would have to suffice for the entire week.”

    I recall Sheryl Crowe, some years ago, pronouncing that everyone should allow themselves only one square to toilet paper per trip to the can. This may be even loonier- although I think I’d think twice about shaking hands with any of these OCD weirdos.

  • warrenzoell

    No Dad around to kick his ass I note. And it needs a good kicking.

    • UCSPanther

      I think the deck was stacked against this kid from the start. If there was a Pa, he probably would be from the same crowd…

  • UCSPanther

    Goes to show: Raise a kid as a self righteous enviro-whacko, and you will regret it.

    Look for this fool at a logging or GMO protest near you…

    • Exile1981

      Him and his boyfriend will chain themselves to a tree to prevent the 5 foot pine from becoming a christmas tree.

  • Clear Thinker

    My kids had a bit of a different upbringing. In the end, my daughter can shoot a tight circle with a handgun, son is great with a shotgun, hey, even ex wife can shoot 9X on a rifle target. No hippie scum here. One works in finance, they other is in the golf industry, much better than asparagus water and kelp diapers. I cant wait until that lady’s son gets stuck in a black lives matter protest and he is the only white guy. He will join the conservative party in 10 seconds.

  • CodexCoder

    If you read the whole article, the indoctrination actually started with grandmother who was of the same ilk. And both mother and grandmother live in the same hippy haven of California so it is also in the school system.

    And why should we be upset with the current sex-ed curriculum in Ontario? Same reason.

  • People get the children they deserve. EXACTLY. I would be rich if I had a nickel for every time I hear a mother claim she couldn’t get out the door on time because her 2-year-old “wouldn’t let me put his coat on” or their 1 year old “has a fit overtime I put her in the stroller — it’s such a battle”. Or she can’t go grocery shopping because “he makes such a fuss in the store”. Are you f*cking KIDDING me? Women are being RULED by their children, and it doesn’t start at 12 years — it’s starts at birth. Mom is so exhausted because “baby won’t let me put him in the crib”. The f*ck?? The fathers, for their part, are completely castrated and bent to will of their wives/partners.

  • Maggat

    TS lady, you could have had him straightened out a decade ago. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. Looks like you got the whirlwind.