Will My IS Militant Husband Prefer His Houris Over Me When He’s Dead?

If an IS militant dies in battle and is awarded his 72 “houris” (the heavenly maidens whom, according to IS ideology, militants are given if they are killed in battle), will he forget all about his wife?

It sounds like the opening lines of a joke. But this is a serious question for the Islamic State (IS) group, and especially for the women who join it and marry militants.

  • Blacksmith

    They are married to someone who smells worse than a goat, beats them for the fun of it and this is what they are worried about? They are mentally defective.

  • DMB

    From the Hadith. Bukhari (2:29) – Women comprise the majority of Hell’s occupants. This is important because the only women in heaven ever mentioned by Muhammad are the virgins who serve the sexual desires of men. (A weak Hadith, Kanz al-`ummal, 22:10, even suggests that 99% of women go to Hell). http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/quran/010-women-worth-less.htm

    • Millie_Woods

      Sucks to be a female muslim. On earth and in the afterlife.

  • El Martyachi

    … but first.. the Houris?!


    • dance…dancetotheradio

      I love that line!
      Kids were great.

      • El Martyachi

        No no no… the Houris come AFTER shredding random innocents with high explosives…!

  • Raymond Hietapakka

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      Yeah, they all sound like Chanty Binx.
      Can you imagine the noise she’d make while being schtupped?

      • Justin St.Denis

        Mind bleach, please.

  • Shebel

    Did any of Mohamadds 72 Virgins die of old age ?
    Is his Mother one of them?
    Are they all 9 years of age.
    Where does he find them all?

    So many questions.
    So many lies.

  • Clausewitz

    What 72 virgins really means……………..


  • pop

    That is a really good question.
    Why are 72 virgins a better option than me?

  • Norman_In_New_York

    Wait a minute. How can they have sex in heaven when they are no longer corporeal and there is no longer any possibility of reproduction? Sounds like these faithful are morons that W.C. Fields had in mind when he said, “Never give a sucker an even break.”

  • Canadian

    As long as your owner is dead, I don`t care!

  • dance…dancetotheradio

    Sounds like someone needs a visit from Cynthia Plaster Caster.

  • luna
  • Barrington Minge

    The 72 virgins must be shagged out by now…and anyway, who said they have to be human?….pigs maybe? that would be a kicker for Abu!!!