‘Dear Alberta Human Rights Commission’

There’s a petition!

…You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn’t make you. You are Satan’s spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.

It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium. Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot midday sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannot be possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This is a primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature.

I began this note with the intent of writing something original, but I changed my mind. Originality should not be sacrificed to such a worthless cause….

  • roccolore

    “Human rights commissions” are often a joke.

    • Inevitably they are captured by an evil greater than that which they were established to fight.

      • They should be abolished altogether. They have no legal legitimacy in a civilized society.

        Possibly we should sell them to the French. Let’s get rid of them here.

    • Alain

      No, they are always a joke and furthermore are the total opposite of any real human rights.

  • Icebow

    OK otherwise, then?

  • Someone in the human rights commissions is getting burning ears.

    Or eyes.

  • Orwell’s 1984 in practice – “Human rights commission”.

  • Doug Kursk

    Inbred trout defiler is my new favorite insult! :p

  • Justin St.Denis

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. HR commissions are the penultimate expression of stupid.

    • ntt1

      BCs translink execs are a very close second

      • barryjr

        Yeah they’re second only to the lower mainland mayors that think they need more money.

    • El Martyachi

      So what’s the ultimate one then? Or am I just stupid?

  • Seneca III

    O.K., what’s your point, then? 🙂 😉 🙂

    • Sign the damn petition, that’s my point.

      • Alain

        Signed. Thanks.

  • Wally Keeler

    Human Rights Commissions consist of paid agents of state aka bureaucraps and they exist to enforce NICE with great quantities of post-nutritive disposal substance.

  • Raymond Hietapakka

    …”inbred trout defiler”..HEY! …lay off…that’s me…maybe I abuse them..but I let them go…yes I do…

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Since all cultures are equal, and the Sudan is such a human rights violator, there is no reason to think that Canada is any different than the Sudan in that respect.
    That’s how the lefties think.

    Seriously, the belief that Canada NEEDS a human rights commission is laughable considering how it has been co opted by some of the most regressive forces in North America to squelch actual freedom.
    These abominations and affronts to liberty should be done away with at the first possible opportunity.

    • Alain

      Hear! Hear!

  • Bernie

    Must be taking lessons from the U.N. Anyone who is Jewish is automatically censored and / or blamed for all the ills of the system.

  • El Martyachi
  • Brett_McS

    Signed. We have these worthless worms (no offence to you worms, which are actually worthy creatures) in Australia, too.

  • simus1

    To slightly alter Oscar Wilde’s famous quote and apply it to HRCs:

    “It is always ‘supposedly’ with the best intentions that the worst work is done.”

    HRCs and the Globull Warming scam were nurtured by the same evil mentality to return the escaped freely speaking serfs to their leftist designated low place of powerless nonexistence.

  • Not_Crazy

    I started laughing like crazy. This is so funny and true