Breaking News! American Scientists Prove That Chapo Guzman’s Wife, Emma Coronel Aispuro is a Filthy, Dirty Puta!

Not Only Am I A Whore, I'm an Anchor Baby Too!

Not Only Am I A Whore (Puta), I’m an Walking Poster to END Birthright Citizenship!

After I wrote what is probably the finest headline in blog history, I now find out that the paper is still under “peer review”, so instead, I’ll leave you with several factoids about “La puta de Lancaster“.

1. Born in November 1989, Aispuro met Guzman in 2003 during a party organized by her father. According to Daily Entertainment News, several members of her family had strong ties with the Mexican drug cartel.

2. On Nov. 20, 2006, Emma Coronel Aispuro participated in the 2007 Great Coffee and Guava Festival. In order to win, candidates were required to organize events. In spite of being an undeniable beauty, The Daily Beast noted some questioned the legitimacy of her crown since her boyfriend hosted a party amid the competition.

3. The former beauty queen married El Chapo on the day she turned 18 on July 3, 2007. The grand party commenced in central Mexico, Christian Post has learned. In the summer of 2012, she traveled to Los Angeles County (Lancaster – quite possibly the most backwards and lowbrow part of that entire cesspool of a county) to give birth to twin girls, her alleged children (and anchor babies) with Guzman. However, their birth certificates did not bear the name of their father and speculations circulated it was due to the fact that America offered $5 million for his capture.

4. Emma Coronel Aispuro was born in California and has a dual citizenship. She is related to Ignacio “Nacho” Coronel, who was Guzman’s former partner but was killed in a July 2010 shootout with Mexican soldiers. As previously reported, her dual citizenship (Mexican and American) has sparked speculation about her involvement in the Sinaloa cartel.

5. Following the escape of her billionaire drug dealer husband Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, Emma Coronel Aispuro still remained to be an enigma to the public. She has also maintained her silence and privacy despite the intense scrutiny of her family, as per Lalate News.

  • Puta!

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      That word does have a pleasant ring to it.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    If Guzman is hiding out in the greater T.O. area, this will ‘smoke him out’!
    All you have to do is capture him when he comes to kill you, and then you and K will have that $5 million dollar reward to retire on easy street with.
    I see it as a fool-proof plan.

    • Cool!

    • El Martyachi

      5 million seems on the low side for this guy.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        Hey, it’s all my government is offering.
        However, that doesn’t mean if you have a hot tip that you could not use that as negotioning leverage to get a better price.
        I think the DEA/FBI would possibly give you up to 4-times that number, so consider the $5 million a starting point.

        I’d love to see Dog the Bounty Hunter bring him back in chains via one of his as of yet undiscovered drug tunnels.
        Extradition to the U.S. is about the only thing that truly scares the crap out of these bastards.

        • El Martyachi

          I doubt that scares them as much as being elaborately tortured to death by one of their foes.

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Yeah, that might scare them more!

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Well, it seems doing twenty years to life in solitary confinement at an American SuperMax, scares them the most of all.
            I heard that on the radio earlier tonight.
            American SuperMax = A clean, well-lit Hell.

          • El Martyachi

            Do they provide books?

        • El Martyachi

          … life in some maximum security prison can’t be great, but gee whiz compared to some of the nasty things these guys do to each other it seems merciful.

    • ntt1

      Guzman is in the states right now stalking Donald trumps hairpiece.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        I was shocked to find out that really is his hair!

        • ntt1

          it might be some form of strange symbiosis perhaps but either way guzman is out to cap his scalp.

  • ptriot2356

    it still wouldnt be considerd a anchor baby she is american citzen just like ted cruz mother is a us citizen

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      SHE is the first anchor baby in that chain. Her parents were not here legally!

      She raced back from Mexico to have her twins in one of the scummiest area of L.A. County that is likely little better than Mexico.
      Why is that?
      She wanted them born HERE.
      Now fuck off, troll!
      Her father: http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/535223-emma-coronel-aispuro-el-chapo-guzmans-wife-her-father-was-also-arrested/

      • ptriot2356

        and your ancestors aren’t
        its till a us citizen so its doesnt matter where she had them

        • Drunk_by_Noon

          No, they fucking weren’t!
          They MADE this country out of nothing, they didn’t border hop their way to a free lunch.

          • ptriot2356

            Like i said it doesnt matter where she had them they would still be us citizens she is american just like you

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            No, she’s not.
            They are not anything like me or anyone I know.
            Her and her entire (culturally Mexican family) are murderous human garbage.
            No, she’s not “just like” anybody here, maybe except for you.

      • ptriot2356

        shes still a us citizen thats all that is seen on paper at the end of the day therfore her kids cant be considerd anchor babies

      • ptriot2356

        term anchor baby may apply to her but not her kids so the title should say us citizen gives birth to el chapos children and she could have gone to consulate and still made them us citizens aka the cruz effect

  • David

    I was never big on violence. I’m fairly big myself but my daddy issues always held me back. He was always bigger than me and I was scared of him. Being much older and slightly wiser now I realize that my size kept most people at bay but when your dealing with people like this guy and death cultists, if your not able, willing and prepared to kill them on the spot, better to live to fight another day.

  • David

    “Have You Ever Been (To Electric Ladyland)”

    Have you ever been (have you ever been) to Electric Ladyland?
    The magic carpet waits, for you.
    So don’t you be late
    Oh, (I wanna show you), the different emotions
    (I wanna run to) the sounds and motions
    Electric woman waits for you and me
    So it’s time we take a ride,
    we can cast all of your hang-ups over
    the seaside.
    While we fly right over the love filled sea
    Look up ahead, I see the loveland, soon you’ll understand.

    Make love, make love, make love, make love.

    (I wanna show you)
    The angels will spread their wings, spread their wings
    (I wanna show you)
    Good and evil lay side by side while electric love penetrates the sky
    (I wanna show you)
    Lord, Lord I wanna show you
    (I wanna show you)
    Hmm, hmmm, hmmm
    (I wanna show you)
    Show you
    (I wanna show you)

    Jimi Hendrix was great!

  • bob e

    i heard el chapo is gonna’ take the top job at ICE ..

  • JoKeR
  • Cat-astrophe

    She is pretty, but her soul is ugly.

  • johnny rogers

    She is not Emma, she is Laura Zuñiga, evil too