Canadians are too drunk, stoned and self-indulgent to notice they’re controlled by a Zionist cabal, says Iran’s state press

You probably didn’t realize the reason Canadians are oblivious to the international Zionist conspiracy that has taken over their country is because they’re hedonists perpetually drunk and stoned on pot.

Neither did I, and I’ve lived in Canada virtually all my life.

  • Petey

    If he doesn’t like it maybe he should move to Iran. Or maybe not – alcoholism is a big problem there (maybe the Jews are responsible).

    • My Zog Cheque Bounced!

      • Justin St.Denis

        Isn’t that always the way?!

    • mobuyus

      My dear departed Persian friend’s brother was a heroin addict in iran and when heroin wasn’t available they would smoke scorpion tail.

    • UCSPanther

      If you lived in a dull, monochromatic totalitarian state, you would be abusing substances too.

  • Reader
    • Amen;)

      • Minicapt

        “It’s not that we’re much better,
        It’s just that we’re less worse.”


  • Hard Little Machine

    Cause they’re high on hockey and maple syrup and being all polite and shit.

    • k1992

      That’s true – we’re all just hosers who like our beer, eh? So what? Speaking of which, mine’s almost empty (again) ….

  • ontario john

    Iran needs to stop tuning into NDP conventions on tv.

  • UCSPanther

    Sounds just like Soviet Propaganda of old…

    They were fond of using projection and painting the West as a pit of hedonism too…

  • Edubeat

    One toke over the line…..what did he say…like I tend to forget things easily

  • Surele Surele

    Oh, darn, they know our secrets. Let’s change the password.

  • Ron MacDonald

    They must be getting Bob and Doug McKenzie reruns in Iran.

    • k1992

      Love those guys!

    • Censored_EG

      Two Zionist agents if I ever saw ’em.

  • Raymond Hietapakka

    Who cares what some inbred untermensch from a nutbar muzzle’em country chooses to mouth?

    • mobuyus

      They usually mouth donkey prong.

  • mobuyus

    Talk about controlling, the iranian embassy in Ottawa had the barbed wire on it’s perimeter fence facing inward to keep employees from escaping.

  • Censored_EG

    I’d write a longer and more profound comment, but my Rabbi requires more rolling papers for himself and to keep all his neighbours subdued and in the palms of his greedy Zionist hands.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Gotta love those Zionist doobies!

  • Justin St.Denis

    I would like to see some stats to compare them to my personal observations. I have lived in Canada roughly half my life. I have generally found Canadians to be less stoned than Americans, though perhaps we drink a tad more. Both populations are pretty much in a par in terms of awareness.

    Now, it seems to me that Iran, with its state-controlled media and lower literacy levels than either the USA or Canada, would be less informed. To boot, many Iranians know it! As for booze and drugs, it is my understanding that Iranians hold up their end on these scores as well.

  • brm373

    Described Canadian Progressives perfectly

  • Ed

    Still, it’s better than being literally stoned, which is what you get over there.

  • neoconzionistmotorcyclist

    What’s a “Zionist Cabal” and how come I haven’t been invited to any of these cabals since I’m a huge Zionist?

  • Hey! We’re not a Zionist cabal!

  • Barrington Minge

    What would Iranians know about anything anyway?
    They are shyte (sorry Shi’ite) mooslims which means that everybody else is responsible except them.