The guitar is an inherently sexist musical instrument, especially the electric version with its nasty, cutty, thin metal strings which can really hurt delicate female hands – not to mention long nails – which will already have been softened by regular dishwashing. You only have to see the way male rock stars wield their “axes” to realise that they see it as little more than a glorified penile extension. This discriminates against women guitarists who, not ever having owned a penis themselves, look slightly uncomfortable holding what is essentially no more than the musical equivalent of a strap-on.
Furthermore male guitarists start with a distinct advantage over women. For many years – and with huge regularity during adolescence – they have accumulated great dexterity running their hands up and down their personal pink “fretboard.” So after that, guitar playing comes naturally. Only a handful of women – Courtney Love, comes to mind – have accumulated sufficient experience in this regard to compete on a level playing field.
This is why, in the interest of equality, we propose that guitars be replaced by an instrument more in keeping with female anatomy and aptitude: the triangle. TING!