Can A Cookie Registry Be Far Off? Throwing biscuit is a ‘violent crime’, say police

Police were forced to record an incident of a man being hit by a biscuit as a “violent crime”, a new report has revealed.

The victim was hit by the flying treat after a minor disagreement with a woman, and was left with “small red mark”.

h/t Dr. J

  • tom_billesley
  • I think it should be a crime. Cookies are things of peace and mint-chocolate chips, not things of war.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Mint chocolate chips are the stuff of dirty bombs! Sprinkles, too!

      • Surely not!

        • Justin St.Denis

          Those little individually wrapped caramels are projectiles! It’s a conspiracy.

          • What about Smarties?

          • Justin St.Denis

            Ammo, pure and simple. Like GummyBears and M&Ms.

          • Not M&M’s!

          • Justin St.Denis

            I know! What a betrayal! I am still struggling to overcome that sense of betrayal. I feel your pain. 😉

          • I can’t imagine life without the almond ones.

          • Justin St.Denis

            We can, perhaps, embrace the brotherhood of our shared desolation. I, too, have an “almond monkey”. 🙁

            I think I’m gonna cry now. Gotta go………

          • Be strong! 🙂

          • Justin St.Denis

            I am trying, I really am. But Wasabi Peas just do not cut it as a replacement for Smarties, M&Ms, etc. (sob, sniff-sniff, sobby sob, sniffy sniff, boo-hoo)

          • Eating enough wasabi peas will make you sob.

    • canminuteman

      Back in the good old days the IRA had a home made weapon called a biscuit gun. It was a recoilless gun made out of a steel pipethat used a gunpowder charge to fire a warhead made out of a food can towards the British Army and a packet of Mcvities digestive biscuits (like the ones in the picture) to the rear as a counterweight to make the weapon recoilless. So cookies can be a thing of war.

      • Well… technically….

        But should they?

        The debate rages on.

  • Justin St.Denis

    England swings
    Like a pendulum do
    Bobbies bustin’ biscuit crimes
    Westminster Abbey,
    The Tower of Big Ben
    The little red stains
    Left by FGM!

  • moraywatson

    Biscuits are the weapons of crumbinals.

  • DMB

    I would be more concerned with some crack pot coming up with a knife ban or registry rather than a cookie registry.

  • Clink9

    They’re just lying down in the middle of the road now waiting for the muzzies to take over.

  • Dana Garcia

    It a cookie toss constitutes a violent crime then there’s no reason not to use a crowbar.

  • Alain

    No question whatsoever. She was an unlicensed owner of an illegal and prohibited weapon, a biscuit in this case, so she clearly had not registered her biscuit with the government. I say throw the book at her. Well that is unless she was actually a he or an Asian.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Fucking Terrorists