Shipboard Rats Hire MK Tzipi Livni As Consultant – satire

IMG_3723Ashdod, May 12 – Seeking advice more expert than their own knowledge and experience, the rats aboard the container ship ZIM Hamburg have engaged MK Tzipi Livni as a consultant to help them determine the best time to abandon the ship.

The community of rats, numbering in the dozens, has long enjoyed a reputation for a keen sense of knowing when the vessel is doomed. However, in recent months they decided to take extra precautions, and to find a candidate with an even more developed feel for detecting the point beyond which things will only get worse, and that it is therefore time to find an alternative home. Given MK Livni’s extensive experience with that task in the political realm, the rats hired her this week to share her instincts and give them more advance warning of impending doom.

“This is an important move for us,” said rat spokesman Akbar. “A sinking ship is a matter of life and death, and even an extra few moments can make the difference between escaping and being pulled under. Ms. Livni has proved a master at sensing disaster far in advance of our own capabilities, so naturally we invited her on board as a consultant”…