UK: Welcome to Miliband country: how Labour would wreck rural life

Imagine rural England five years into a Labour government led by Ed Miliband, and propped up by the SNP and perhaps also the Greens. If you can’t imagine, let me paint the picture for you using policies from their election manifestos and only a small amount of artistic licence.

The biggest house-building programme in history is well under way, with a million new houses mainly being built in rural areas. Several ‘garden cities’ have sprung up in Surrey, Sussex and Kent, though in truth the gardens are the size of postage stamps. No matter, because having a big garden is a liability since right to roam was extended so that ramblers can walk across your lawn.

Oh, and if you’re thinking of walking a dog, think again. The killing of any animal outdoors, whether intentional or accidental, is deemed to be ‘reckless hunting’. Consequently, most dog owners simply cannot risk letting their dog off the lead in case it catches a squirrel, the penalty for which is a prison sentence…

…Dairy farming is at an all-time low as more and more farmers throw in the towel in the face of the growing threat of TB to their herds from badgers, after Labour ended the badger cull. Consequently, most milk is imported from Holland and Belgium.

After pressure from the Greens, horse-racing has been subjected to so many new rules that an increasing number of courses find it financially unviable to continue…

…New targets for ‘zero carbon homes’ mean that country cottages must pay a levy to continue to use open fires and log-burners. Four-by-fours are subject to an emissions tax, so a lot of poorer families cannot get about when it snows. Tractors have to pay a congestion charge.

All rural businesses and public services must abide by the terms of Labour’s National Adaptation Programme, under which everything they do must take account of climate change, with mandatory reporting every year on how they have acted to reduce carbon emissions. Sadly, many village shops and schools can’t cope with the red tape and go under…

  • andycanuck

    Gee. Too bad there isn’t a Conservative government to rescind all those laws at the equivalent of the federal level and rein in any similar local laws.

  • winniec

    The Scottish party has made UK more complicated than the BQ did in Ottawa. Miliband is looking more and more loony toons.

    • Frau Katze

      He really seems crazy.

  • Rosenmops

    The killing of any animal outdoors, whether intentional or accidental, is deemed to be ‘reckless hunting’. Consequently, most dog owners simply cannot risk letting their dog off the lead in case it catches a squirrel, the penalty for which is a prison sentence…

    Oh oh. If your cat catches a mouse or your terrier catches a rat then you’re headed for the slammer.

  • Minicapt

    This makes Lizzie happy, happy, happy …

    Cheers