Epic Man Crush Poem Dedicated to Justin Trudeau

Justin Trudeau Proton Man“Speak to me, oh sun, of The Proton Man’s voyage, virtues, justice and courage: As our maple ship’s hope is in his hands.” That’s how begins The Proton Man: Justin Trudeau, Elliott Moglica’s public admission of brain damage…

 

I hope he doesn’t have access to sharp instruments…

Thank Blogwrath for uncovering this… whatever it is.

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  • Clink9

    I’ll just step out to the Vomitorium.

    • Isn’t that the craziest thing you read all day?

      • Clink9

        He draws the crazies out into the open.

      • Justin St.Denis

        Creepy crazy, you mean…

      • WalterBannon

        That is his key demo, unfortunately the country is riddled with them like roaches

    • Minicapt

      … remembering that the “vomitorium” was the exit corridor(s) of the Roman amphitheatre.

      Cheers

      • Clink9

        Those guys knew how to party.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Get in line!

  • dance…dancetotheradio

    What the fuck is a Proton Man, Gus?

    • El Martyachi

      reference to brain mass?

    • Minicapt

      Proton was the indigenous car-maker of Malaysia.

      Cheers

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        Goony Goo Goo.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    This could be as good as the naked Obama with unicorns guy.

    • That is good.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        I would want that on the side of my 1970’s van.

        • WalterBannon

          bazinga!

  • SDMatt

    Suddenly Bruce Jenner isn’t the gayest man in the room. . .

    • DavidinNorthBurnaby

      But *is* Bruce gay? Because he says he plans to date women after his change, so that would make him … hmmm … very screwed up.
      Never mind.

      • BillyHW

        Do lesbians trapped in male bodies get better rates on their car insurance?

        • Frau Katze

          Conundrum. One for the actuaries.

        • mobuyus

          Depends if it’s a white man’s body.

        • El Martyachi

          Considering the price of motorcycle insurance I’m honestly tempted to declare myself a dyke on a bike.

      • Justin St.Denis

        Bruce is in intimate communication with his inner lesbian, I guess.

  • DavidinNorthBurnaby

    Pass the sick bag, Ethel.

    • Frau Katze

      No kidding!

  • So who is this Trudeau fellow anyways? Is he some sort of faggot or something?

    • Frau Katze

      Yes, that’s what he is.

    • mobuyus

      A golden boy.

    • Minicapt

      He really likes Russia.

      Cheers

    • Yes.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Try flexing your pecs in his direction, Vladimir. 😉

    • DavidinNorthBurnaby

      Sorta David Rose of Schitt’s Creek but less intelligent and accomplished. ;-D

  • El Martyachi

    Possibly a 2017 addition to the national anthem?

  • Martin B

    “I hope he doesn’t have access to sharp instruments…”

    I hope he does, and slits his own throat or something.

  • mobuyus

    This is some of the gayest gayness ever gayed.

    • Peak Gay.

      • mobuyus

        I honestly hope so.

      • Justin St.Denis

        Penultimate Zenith Gay

    • Justin St.Denis

      Gayer than a sprig of lilies on a lapel, gayness personified bows to gayness enraptured to be crowned the GayestBigGayKing evah!!!

      • mobuyus

        Man that’s really gay.

        • Justin St.Denis

          D’ya think?!

  • DD_Austin

    Governor general’s award for sure

    it may blow. but it’s to his shiny beau
    It dotes on the Proton,otherwise a moron
    and will earn 25,000 for a literary blow job
    handed out by some government art snob

  • Edubeat

    Love love me do sang the Beatles… Justin we love you to sing the easily led feminoids

  • Minicapt

    One of Dr Dawg’s BFFs?

    Cheers

  • Wally Keeler

    He obviously suffers from a bloated bland gland.

  • El Martyachi

    The amazon reviews are a little one-sided. Just sayin…

    • Justin St.Denis

      Can amazons read? I thought they were just tall!

    • Richard K

      If you click on the reviewers, you’ll notice the only other books they’ve reviewed are all by the same Elliott Moglica, all of which get 5 stars from them. Just a coincidence, i’m sure.

  • Canadian

    And I thought only women will vote for him out of loooove.

  • Justin St.Denis

    Sounds like there’s lots of damp wads of Kleenex behind that “poetry”.

  • El Martyachi

    Serious question: probability of epic trollness? The choice of vacant doe-eyed photo for the cover.. it’s too much. I’m giving it 65:35 real:troll

  • bob e

    i can’t take it ..

  • Clausewitz

    This is self published right? If not, then I’ll never buy another book from that publisher, EVER.

  • truepeers

    Elliott??

  • FactsWillOut

    Roger Ramjet is NOT impressed.

  • David Murrell

    Elliott Moglica may have just earned himself a CBC News commentator’s job. Or at least a weekly column in the Globe and Mail.