Sony, PBS, and Affleck Conspire to Bury His Slavery Connection

In the PBS program Finding Your Roots, guest stars ranging from Barbara Walters to Derek Jeter to documentarian Ken Burns explore their genealogy and are often taken aback at what is uncovered. Actor Don Cheadle, for example, was stunned to learn (in an earlier incarnation of the show) that his ancestors were slaves – not of white Southerners, but of Cherokee Indians. But it recently came to light that for the first time, a celebrity pressured the show’s producers to bury his own ancestral connection to slavery.

The only thing real about Ben Affleck is his hairpiece.

  • David Murrell

    “…he and his (PPS) producers made an independent editorial judgment to choose the most compelling narrative.”

    And by compelling narrative one takes it to mean the most left-wing narrative.

  • Hard Little Machine

    I’d be more offended that Mr Liberal has been part of the 1% for more than 200 years. It’s not as if 91% of Americans at the time didn’t own slaves.

    • Reader

      I don’t think he is part of the “1%”, it is more like the top 0.01%. My, how some of the “privileged” like to preach to others.

      As others have pointed out, let us hope he is best remembered for Gigli and Daredevil.

    • I really don’t think the number of slave owners was ever nearly that high. Whatever, Affleck is a jackass.

      • Hard Little Machine

        In NC at any rate, it was about 9% households owning 1 or more slaves. In practice something like 85% of that 9% was households owning from 1 to 3 slaves.

        • Oh, I get what you’re saying. 91% (at least) were never slave owners. True, I’m sure.

  • mauser 98

    blacks ran slave trade out of Africa
    blacks owned slaves in US
    Hollywood white guilt constipation

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      The first slave owner in North America was a BLACK MAN.

      Anthony Johnson came to the American colonies in August, 1619 as an indentured servant. In 1623 Johnson had completed his indenture and was recognized as a free negro.

      Held as an indentured servant, he earned his freedom after several years, which was accompanied by a grant of land. He later became a successful tobacco farmer. Notably, he is recognized for attaining great wealth after having been an indentured servant and has been referred to as “’the black patriarch’ of the first community of Negro property owners in America”.

  • Brian Gardiner

    Proof positive that Ben Affleck comes from a long line of Democrats.

  • simus1

    We need to know much more about “Ben’s New Joisey slaves”. Were they all field slaves or house slaves or a bit of this and a bit of that? Were they owned by a fair upright devout Christian master or were they shall we say “part of the family”?

    The descendents of said slaves meeting with Ben would either be be a great ratings eye opener TV documentary or raucous Gerry Springer style TV riot.

  • J. C.

    I’m still trying to decide whether I dislike Affleck more for this attempted ‘cover up’ or his pro-Muzz tantrum on the Bill Maher show. Hmm… *strokes beard*

    • Mohamsandwich

      He is a major idiot, isn’t he?

      • J. C.


  • People who are excessively proud or ashamed of their ancestors have a family tree that is like the potato plant: the most important part is underground.

  • Speaksvolumes

    When will he be paying the descendants reparations?