The Gov. of Illinois Promises to “Rip The Economic Guts Out of Indiana” – Swears He’s Not Totally Controlled By Homosexuals (SO-NOT-SATIRE)

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I Think This Sign Just Might Be Real!

Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner says he wants to “rip the economic guts out of Indiana.”

The newly elected governor of Indiana’s western neighbor told the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune on Monday that he plans to poach Hoosier jobs as part of his state turnaround plan.

“Believe me, I am going to rip — try to rip the economic guts out of Indiana,” he told the newspaper. “I am one of the baddest, you know, enemies anybody can have. And when I set a goal, we do it. I don’t care what the headline is. I want the results. And we’re coming after Indiana big time. But you know what, we’re going to do it on our terms, the right way.”

But Rauner, a Republican who took office in January, dismissed the controversy over Indiana’s “religious freedom” bill as a “headline opportunity,” rather than a real one.

If anyone reading this is thinking of starting a fake news “satire” website, just stop now.

Really!

 

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