Gaza Wins Bid To Host 2032 Olympics – satire

“When we realized the international sporting community didn’t care about Dubai’s use of slave labor to prepare for the World Cup, we knew we had a chance.”

unnamed-3Gaza City, March 18 – The International Olympic Committee announced today (Wednesday) that the winning proposal to host the 2032 Summer Olympic Games was submitted by the Hamas government of the Gaza Strip.

Gaza beat out a number of other candidate locations considered by many to be better suited to the events, among them Berlin, New Delhi, Jakarta, Caracas, and Vancouver, and the organizers of the proposal admitted they were as surprised as anyone else that Gaza was chosen.

“We are humbled, proud, and, frankly, somewhat puzzled at the committee’s decision, but we will try to do it justice,” said Ministry of Sport spokesman Aiwil Behedd. “We have much work ahead of us now.”

The planning challenges facing the government of Gaza are more imposing than those faced by any other host of Olympic games. Essentially, said Behedd, every bit of infrastructure for the games, including transportation and accommodations for attendees and participants, will have to be built from scratch, since the coastal territory lacks the most rudimentary facilities.

However, some of the obstacles that have plagued other Olympic hosts will likely not affect Gaza to nearly the same degree. For example, while other cities have engaged in protracted court battles to gain rights to property for purposes of constructing Olympic facilities, Hamas had a head start in demolishing large swaths of its territory by provoking a 5-week war with Israel last summer. By withholding permission for the rebuilding of homes from everyone but a number of proven Hamas loyalists, the government has been able to engineer significant portions of unused land that can now be converted into stadiums, the Olympic Village, press accommodations, and other support facilities…