Why Anybody on the Right Is a ‘Heartless Bastard’

This week we are moved to ignore the news – which we have done our best to follow without throwing things at the television – take a large step back and consider a question which has been bugging us.

Why is it that left are the nice guys – the ones that care – while the right are the heartless, inconsiderate bastards?

We think we may have the answer.

It’s to do with the welfare state, see.