Congrats #CharlieHebdo! …Jerusalem Mufti Says New Charlie Hebdo Cover Has Insulted Nearly 2 Billion Muslims!

“This insult has hurt the feelings of nearly two billion Muslims all over the world. The cartoons and other slander damage relations between the followers of the (Abrahamic) faiths,” he said in a statement.

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  • jayme

    Last week there was 1.5 billion now there is 2 billion that is scary.

    • truthdareisay

      They multiply like rabbits 🙂

      • moraywatson

        Racist! Don’t you know they multiply like hijabbits?

      • Norman_In_New_York

        In Israel, Jews breed like rabbis.

        • moraywatson

          “Islam in a man is worse than rabbis in a dog!” – Inspector Clouseau.

          • Bataviawillem

            Winston Churchill.

          • moraywatson

            Sorry my humour was lost on you.

        • truthdareisay

          heh 🙂

    • Everyone is born muslim, or so the false prophet claimed. Only a 25% retention rate.

      • moraywatson

        “Revert” it’s the new “retarded”.

    • moraywatson

      If they want to appear as victims there are only 1 billion. If they want to be taken seriously there are 1.3 billion. If they want to be self righteous there are 1.6 billion. If they are going full jihad there are 2 billion. It’s in the owner’s manual.

  • sanwin

    For fucks sake, when did they reach the 2 Billion figure ? Islam – the religion of made up numbers.

    • Xavier

      It “rounding up”. 1.6 billion is almost 2, so 2 billion. But 2 is more than half way to 3, so 3 billion. And 3 is 75% of 4, so 4 billion – which is almost 5.

      5 billion Moslems.

      Well it’s as accurate as the insult figure.

      • DVult

        I heard there were a trillion of them in round numbers of course.

        • moraywatson

          Don’t forget the muslims on Mars. Or the ones on Uranus.

    • moraywatson

      If they numbers don’t go up, they are failing in their totalitarian ambitions. And you know what happens when supremacists are failing…things get UGLY!

    • I never hear the same number twice.

      • moraywatson

        It’ll be hilarious when we find out there’s really only three of them, and the rest is done with mirrors. All three will named mohammed of course.

  • mobuyus

    islam a cult of lies for liars.

    • moraywatson

      …and the truth shall set them free…

  • Censored_often

    My “feelings” are hurt every day by Islam in so many ways. Live with the cartoon, buddy. Islam is the whiniest “religion” ever.

  • Xavier

    1. If Moslems view the cover they are guilty of blasphemy.
    2. Blasphemers of Islam must die!
    3. Profit.

    • David Murrell

      Well put. What you say is a sound argument for we protestors to make up Hebdo-cartoon picket signs, and to march in front of mosques. Mass-produced Mohommed-cartoon signs could prove productive, in many ways.

  • Ed

    It would be a lot easier to take their claims of deep religiosity seriously if the imam who inspired the Paris attacks hadn’t spent thousands of dollars in the US on prostitutes, for example.
    Near as I can figure, “Islam” translates roughly into “you’re always wrong, I’m always right,” and “I have a licence to do whatever I please.”

    • moraywatson

      Correct. Islam is the politics of submission.

    • Xavier

      In French Islam translates to “du jour”.

      “Whatever we say today, or we keel you.”

  • eMan14

    You’re insulted? Bite me!

  • Barrington Minge

    Excellent. Suck it up Arselifters!!

  • David Murrell

    The media are reporting this morning that Charlie Hebdo will be printing two million more copies. Good news there.

  • Ken

    We infidels hurt muzzie feelings, and then they hurt our internal organs.

  • moraywatson

    Muzzy math. They invented algebra (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!), but they can’t add.

    • DVult

      They invented dick and not even that.

      • moraywatson

        Credit where credit is due. They invented rubble.

  • The koran only insulted one God.

    • moraywatson

      …and his Son and the Holy Spirit…(modified as required for our Jewish friends)

  • Xavier

    Every so often I was forced to watch Everybody Loves Raymond, and I will recount for you what I believe was one of the funniest and best lines on television:

    Raymond: You know Dad it really hurts when you call me a Nancy Boy.

    Frank: Good. It’s supposed to.

    And that seems to be applicable to this post: the insult is intentional, Muzloids. Charlie and the rest of the free world want you to be insulted. Get angry. Threaten us. Reveal true Islam as it exists in your minds, and tell us what you will do to protect your goat fucking Prophet, Piss Be Unto Him.

  • chayisun

    Would someone…..Anyone…Tell me just what does NOT insult those knuckle dragging apes? A snowman is an insult. music is forbidden. Laughter is not allowed.

    Yet they love beheadings, suicides, riots, rape, murder and goats. Actually, I think I answered my own question……

    • Minicapt

      They hate vacuums because they suck.

      Cheers

  • Petr

    If you dont offend muslims, you are doing it wrong.

    • moraywatson

      That was my best laugh of the day!

  • Hard Little Machine

    Good. Now fuck off, die and choke on horse cock in hell.