Israeli humour: ‘Elitists Already Disappointed By Election Results’

Ramat Aviv, December 28 – Israelis who obviously know better than you what is good for the country have already declared their dissatisfaction with the outcome of elections this coming March.

A diverse group of elitists from across the narrowest sliver of the Israeli political spectrum gathered yesterday to mark what is clearly the death knell for the Israeli political system. Their group, Elitists for Government by Only Israelis who Showcase Total Superiority (EGOISTS), determined after a brief discussion that the country is going down the tubes because everyone else remains willfully blind to the only right way of doing things.

EGOISTS came together at Tel Aviv University yesterday to discuss the elections, scheduled for March 17. The diversity of the group ranged from academics and political activists openly hostile to Zionism all the way to academics and activists openly supportive of Hamas…

“The results of this election were, predictably, an indication of antidemocratic, right-wing extremists clinging to power despite the overwhelming protests of those with a truer vision,” said EGOISTS in a statement emerging from the conference. “The short-sightedness of a system that merely listens to the votes of those who cast ballots and ignores the manifestly more ethical, moral, and democratic positions of our obviously superior caste dooms that system to failure.”

Those positions vary widely, encompassing everything from voluntary dissolution of Israel to imposed dissolution of Israel…

Not too far from the actual truth.