Should Canada Attack Denmark?

Denmark claims North Pole

I’m pretty sure we can take em. Well maybe not that crew in the picture.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Do ya’ think that body paint is edible?

    • We could ask.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        Excuse me Miss, ‘mind if I have a taste?

    • chayisun

      I don’t get what you mean. Why would you want to eat paint…….Wait a sec……

    • Reader

      Is that a Cold Sore?

  • ontario john

    Will they take the indians?

  • chayisun

    ” Mr. Harper have you heard that Denmark has claimed the North Pole?”

    “They did? Well, that’s not a good thing. I mean, that’s an important part of Canada!”

    “It seems like the Danes think it’s theirs. We can’t allow them to get away with this! There might be oil there!”

    “Oil? Listen, this is the home of Santa Claus! we can’t allow the Danes to interfere with Santa, particularly at this time of year.”

    “What do you plan to do?”

    “The only thing we CAN do to upset the Danes…..Freeze the importation of Danish pastries! That’ll teach ’em.”

    • Damn right.

      • Clausewitz

        No herring for you……..

        • JoKeR

          First we take Saint Pierre and Miquelon. Screw the French. They just use those rocks as an excuse to fish in our waters.

          Then we go for Greenland. The Danish will know we mean business and their supply lines are too long, so they either put up or we imply Iceland could be next.

          Even Putin might take us seriously then!

          • David Murrell

            There was a joke going around Ottawa, at the time of when Argentina briefly took over the Falklands, where a Liberal MP jokingly said that perhaps Canada should invade St. Pierre and Miquelon. A Conservative MP shot back that maybe we should be worried that St. Pierre and Miquelon might invade and take over Canada.

  • WalterBannon

    We can’t let a soon to be muslim nation install them self on our doorstep so I say nuke Denmark.

    • DavidinNorthBurnaby

      Good plan, except Canada doesn’t have nukes, remember?

      • tom_billesley

        Just fake it. Nobody will know – Denmark is pretty flat already.

        • Clausewitz

          We have these guys. They’ll scare the shit out of those formerly manly Dane Vikings.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        I think Canada becoming a ‘rouge nuclear power’ would be one of the greatest things ever. Either that or forcibly annexing Greenland.
        I can’t really decide between the two.

        • ntt1

          We should go for greenland ,after all our boy king in waiting knows all about how to tackle “brutal” winters

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Why stop at Greenland, when the real prize is Iceland?
            Just claim there is a sizable population of “ethnic Canadians” on both Islands that are being oppressed and then go all Putin-esque on ’em.
            As long as Harper doesn’t start talking like Kim Jung Il, no one in this hemisphere is going to say anything.
            Then after you have turned Alberta into one giant ICBM missile field and negated Denmark’s claim on the North Pole, you could declare the North Atlantic a “Canadian Lake” and start making territorial demands on Russia, as far as the North Pole is concerned.
            Make the Canadian Beaver roar!

          • ntt1

            Can’t really see a canadian beaver roar, they tend more toward sullen obstinacy. They are an aggrieved animal, partly due to their close resemblance to our frightbat green party leader. Iceland would be good though, lots of hot tubs and very cute blondes

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Have faith!
            Soon the entire world will fear the shadow of the maple leaf.

          • I like that!

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            Let me think this through and I’ll come up with a plan.
            A recipe for Canadian grandeur.

          • ntt1

            make sure its polite.

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            You want to be ‘polite’ while you are kicking-in the ChiCom’s teeth, and making Putin cry like a little girl?
            When you are demanding the unconditional capitulation of North Korea, every diplomatic courtesy will be extended.
            How’s that?

          • ntt1

            The joung-un has a weakness for cheese, and cheesehead is derogatory term for those Canadians feverishly shopping in the US to avoid the sky high Canadian prices set by marxist central planning, this could be a chink,… yes dammit a chink, in the Norks armour,entice him with a full range of government quota controlled dairy then lower the boom and destroy the hermit kingdom with weaponized red tape and
            Royal inquiry proceedings,

          • b_marco

            I like where your coming from, but in order to shore up domestic support for such adventures we’d need to adjust the political landscape a bit. After ordering the summary executions of dozen or so blog commenters, my first order of business as emperor would be to trade south eastern Ontario for portions of Montana and possibly North Dakota. This gives us missiles and Detroit a bigger tax base.

      • JoKeR

        We don’t have nukes? We have the next best thing.

        We tell them we get Greenland and the North Pole or we will send them about 1,000,000 muslim emigrees from Canada.

        If they have any sense with that nuclear option we’ll get Greenland and the Pole so they don’t get the shaft!

  • ntt1

    i think the one in the white just might have the cure for snow blindness

    • Clausewitz

      Was down in the Caribbean about 20 years ago at a club med. The one thing I learned is that when it comes to European women the one’s you want to see the least are the first ones to strip down at the nude beach.

      • Maurixio Garcia S

        Wow 20 years ago! amazing,no wounder your age and your wight are out of control,I wish you good luck at the food bank,just tell them that you are on a diet and want to be a model,poor ugly slut.

        • Uncle_Waspy

          Heh….somebody left the Random Crap Generator™ on again.


        • Clausewitz

          I’d say you really need to get out of your mom’s basement, but then I realised they don’t have basements in the Favela.

          • Maurixio Garcia S

            Grandma make sure whenever you go out dont forget your mask,because if you dont take it with you , u caused panic on the streets.

          • Clausewitz

            Hey Pedro, try this. It might help. Also try to work on your spelling……….

          • Raymond Cameron

            If she lives in an outhouse there is a basement…

        • Clink9

          I was there two years ago and it was the same.
          Why would somebody that can’t spell argue about every little thing?
          Oh ya, you’re about as sharp as a cue ball Sanchez.

      • ntt1

        Yeah, i can never forget a german woman in ixtapa ,she stripped down to a G-string and black high top army boots, there just isn’t enough tequilla to wash that away

        • DavidinNorthBurnaby

          Try the jumper cables to the temples routine. Fry the memory out. 😉

        • Ha!

      • It is a fact of life.

      • The Goat

        Hairier than goats, some of them.

    • b_marco

      That’s a healthy girl.

  • Martin B

    We could shout “Death to Denmark!” but then we’d sound like Muzz complaining about Mohammed cartoons.

  • ontario john

    We could send Wynne over in a bathing suit, that will scare the hell out of them.

    • Frau Katze

      Sounds like a good idea!

    • That would be a War Crime.

      • JoKeR

        No that would be a crime against humanity!

    • mauser 98

      Geneva Convention?

    • Anonymous

      Lmfao I think that was the closest I came to passing out laughing

  • Surele Surele

    First they came for the Hans Island, now they want OUR North Pole!!! We can fight. Their Arm Forces are what? 1,500? And if we win, all the Akvavit & Marzipan is ours.

  • Gary

    Sure beats our topless girls.

    • Clausewitz

      I think the human race has developed a new subspecies. They are spotted through their characteristics of unfailingly supporting whacked out leftist causes, the inability to take any form of constructive criticism,, and their profound ugliness both internally and externally.

    • JoKeR

      That’s a girl?

      Are you sure it isn’t somebody transitioning who has been undergoing hormone treatments before he gets it cut off?

  • Splash

    no plastic in those rockets

  • mauser 98
  • simus1

    No need to get physical.
    Denmark could be made to climb down off the North Pole by simply negotiating.
    First words from the Canadian side:
    “Nice aquavit and beer refineries you have here.

    Be a shame if something were to happen to them during some huge muslim protest or something. But the way the world is today …………………”