Opinion: The CIA Did Not Torture – satire

The following is an opinion article written by Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria.

…Sure, the CIA took many of my brothers into custody at secret black sites for rough interrogations to garner information about future attacks.

Hell, even I was questioned myself when I was in Iraq. But what I keep hearing is people portraying this as some rogue operation and the CIA was out of bounds.

The bottom line: The CIA did not torture, and trust me, I know torture…

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  • winniec

    Such a nice man, al Baghdadi. Let’s send him lots of 500-lb Christmas presents by special airmail…wrapped in Lindt chocolate.

    • Maggat

      I love the Lindt Chocolate quip.