People’s Cube: Feinstein ‘Torture Report’ outs Charles Martel as Islamophobe

Diane Feinstein’s recently released report on controversial CIA interrogation practices indicts, not only the Bush administration, but also all previous administrations going back to the controversial leader of the Franks, Charles Martel, and his victory over the moderate Muslim community at Tours in 732 AD, which can only be described as a gross law enforcement misconduct and hate crime.

unnamed-9Citing inside information from medieval Latin and Arabic sources, the report prepared by Feinstein’s staffers details a shocking degree of intolerance and Islamophobia on the part of Charles Martel’s administration and the army of Franks, who countered the peaceful expansion of moderate Muslims into Europe via Spain with such violent hatred that historians suspect could only be explained by racist motives.

“Clearly this was racial profiling on part of the Frankish administration,” determined Yale historian Dr. Hussein al-Isis. “Franks and other white Europeans were simply uncomfortable around brown Middle Easterners, no matter how harmless their intentions.”

While mostly white contemporary historians crowed about a “Christian victory over Islam,” understandably bitter and disaffected members of the Muslim community, victimized by Martel’s extremist policies, were compelled to fend for themselves while retreating through the Pyrenees shouting, “Hands up, don’t spear me!” and “Death to Infidels!”…


Read the whole thing by the esteemed Komissar al-Blogunov!

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  • ntt1

    Don’t forget the environmental crimes of Vlad Tepes (the impaler) who denuded whole forests to provide poles to display oppressed muslims on, 4000 at one go according to legend.

  • Vederso

    Clearly, this must be satire.

    • It is posted under “satire”. So there’s that.

    • Frau Katze

      I assumed everyone knew about The People’s Cube. Usually I include “satire” in the title.

      • Vederso

        I didn’t, but I liked this one.

  • ontario john

    I’m sure Haroooooon at the Star will be right on this.