Missing – presumed lost

This is an urgent lost body-part message for anybody who knows where David Cameron’s backbone is.

Cameron’s backbone was last seen disappearing somewhere in the Westminster region of London sometime in 2010. Without his backbone, it is unlikely that he will be able to deal with the growing threats of mass rapes, terror and sedition emanating from Britain’s Muslim community.

Doctors believe that Mr Cameron’s backbone slipped away almost unnoticed when the Prime Minister became infected with the deadly virus Libdemola Clegg, a condition from which very few survive unscathed…

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