McALLEN, Texas – In a surprising turn of events this morning, American soldiers began arriving at key crossing points along the Mexican/American border after President Obama ordered U.S. troops to control the influx of immigrants illegally entering the U.S. through Mexico.
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said the administration predicts the border could be sealed by the weekend. He said the president ordered the military to take control after learning the immigrants crossing the border were climate change deniers.
“Over the weekend the president was informed that a vast majority of the immigrants entering the United States illegally are climate change deniers. Following confirmation of this information from Homeland Security and the FBI, President Obama met with Army Chief of Staff, General Raymond Odierno. The president ordered the general to send troops to the border in an effort to stem the rising tide of immigrant deniers illegally crossing our shared border with Mexico.”
When a reporter asked what would happen to the tens of thousands of children that have already been apprehended, the press secretary’s response was matter of fact.
“President Obama has made it clear how he feels about climate change deniers. Child deniers are just as much a threat to national security as adult deniers. The president may not have the authority at this time to deport American deniers, but he will not hesitate to immediately deport any man, woman or child illegally entering this country who has the audacity to deny climate change”…