Guardian: ‘Thomas the Tank Engine had to shut the hell up to save children everywhere’

A (former) menace to children eveywhere, fortunately now no more

Thomas and those friends are trains that toil away endlessly on the Isle of Sodor – which seems to be forever caught in British colonial times – and, on its surface, the show seems to impart good moral lessons about hard work and friendship.

But if you look through the steam rising up from the coal-powered train stacks, you realize that the pretty puffs of smoke are concealing some pretty twisted, anachronistic messages.

For one, these trains perform tasks dictated by their imperious, little white boss, Sir Topham Hatt (also known as The Fat Controller), whose attire of a top hat, tuxedo and big round belly is just a little too obvious… Yeah, because I want to teach my kid to admire a controlling autocrat…

But there was one particular episode that caused me to put the brakes on Thomas for good… In the episode “Tickled Pink,” poor vain James, is ordered by Topham Hat to get a new coat of [pink] paint… James is mortified that he has to travel while pink and proceeds to hide from all the other trains along the way. When he’s caught, the other trains – including Thomas – viciously laugh and mock him.

“What are you doing James? You’re a big pink steamie,” says Diesel, the bad-boy engine. For the record, all the “villains” on Thomas and Friends are the dirty diesel engines.

I’d like to think there was a good environmental message in there, but when the good engines pump out white smoke and the bad engines pump out black smoke – and they are all pumping out smoke – it’s not hard to make the leap into the race territory…

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No, it is not a parody. One commenter said, “Peak Guardian. It has been reached.”

But another commenter disagreed, saying it had been reached with another article entitled “Can vegans stomach the unpalatable truth about quinoa?”

Another thought that “Beware of cupcake fascism” was a better a candidate.

A hilarious discussion ensues over various absurd Guardian articles. Comment link is here.

The left grows ever more ridiculous, but unfortunately they take themselves extremely seriously.

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