I volunteer to man a guillotine.

Jay Suit, $895, glen plaid dress shirt, $195, foulard print tie, $135, and polka-dot pocket square, $55, all at Hugo Boss (Tysons Galleria). Claire Cotton jacquard shift dress, $299 at Karen Millen (Tysons Galleria); knotted rope crystal necklace, $98 at Ann Taylor (multiple area locations); and jeweled bracelet by Loren Hope, similar styles at Bishop Boutique (Alexandria).

Did you know Jay Carney’s dog and dog-eating President Obama’s dog are cousins? Isn’t that nice? Read the whole vomit inducing “article” here. No, I am not making that caption up.