You Know Jack!

What have we learned?

Jack Layton is campaigning to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. Jack Layton was found naked in a whorehouse. Jack Layton was found with, though not in, a 3rd World Sex Trade Worker.

Jack Layton alleges he frequented this whorehouse for “therapeutic massage”. Jack claims he was visiting a “community clinic”. How many “community clinics” do you know that are named Velvet Touch”? Jack Layton’s Velvet Touch “community clinic” keeps odd hours, he was found naked at 9:30 PM. Perhaps that’s when most reputable “community clinics” do their best found-in, er walk-in business, I can’t be sure never having visited a “community clinic” called the “Velvet Touch”.

Jack’s 3rd World Sex Trade Worker/Therapeutic Masseuse came from China. It is unknown if her “masseuse” qualifications were recognized in Canada beyond an informal acknowledgement by afficianados and operators within the world’s oldest profession. I can’t say with certainty but I do not recall there being a critical shortage of “3rd World Therapeutic Masseuses” necessitating their urgent import from China. Perhaps it was one of those “Doing The Hand Jobs Canadians Won’t Do” things.

Jack’s 3rd World Sex Trade Worker/Therapeutic Masseuse had been busted in a previous whorehouse raid.

The fine establishment Jack chose to receive his therapeutic massage at, by the hands of a previously busted 3rd World Sex Trade Worker, was itself busted in Operation Cobra which was a police operation specifically targetting “Institutes of Therapeutic Massage” otherwise known as whorehouses.

Jack Layton insists he did not know he was in fact frequenting a house of ill-repute, even though the operators of this fine establishment used a Red Light/Green Light System – Red for Cops, Green for anything goes “Therapeutic Massage”.

At least one esteemed member of the media sat on this story, feeling it somehow not newsworthy that a man running for Prime Minister was a found-in at a house of prostitution.

I know this, every male in Toronto knows what the words “massage parlour” mean. I won’t have the wool pulled over my eyes by either Jack or his media friendly pals because now I know Jack.

Thank God for SunTV.